I Forgave My Husband Who Cheated On Me

When she couldn't get pregnant, her husband had an affair. He even asked her to financially support his mistress. Yet, when the affair ended, she forgave him. It was a long, hard road. But this is her story of how they saved a marriage.

- Clara How

“The most ridiculous thing my husband ever asked me was if I would buy a house for his mistress to live in. I believe he was trying to hurt me, and push me to go along with a plan he had laid out: to have me agree to a divorce so he could marry his new girlfriend and get her permanent residency in Singapore.

But there was a catch – he still wanted me in his life. ‘You would still be the first wife to me’, he said. ‘Please consider this.’

I was so confused. Alan* and I had been happily married for a decade when we decided it was time to start a family. Alan loved children, and was looking forward to being a father. Unfortunately, after a failed pregnancy and two rounds of IVF that yielded nothing, it seemed that having a baby was impossible for me. Alan did not blame me outright, but his disappointment was palpable.

A CHANGED MAN

Slowly, his behaviour became unrecognisable to me. He gained a new group of friends and started to come home late. He openly spoke about meeting other women. There was one he seemed particularly infatuated with. I was so tied up with guilt and apologetic about my inability to give him a child that I didn’t know how to react. In all our years together, I never imagined Alan would ever be unfaithful.

Eventually, he started talking to me about divorce. His new girlfriend was on a work visa from abroad, and had been introduced to him by a friend. He wanted to be with her because she could give him children. But the strange thing was, Alan didn’t want to completely cut me out of his life. He said he still had feelings for me, and considered me more ‘presentable’ to have on his arm at work events. I still recall his exact words: ‘You can be shown, but she cannot.’ I could not believe what I was hearing.