I never intended to become the primary caregiver in my family, let alone a stay-at-home dad (SAHD). When my wife Wai Jia, a medical doctor in the public health sector, had to return to work to fulfil a bond in early 2019, we had to make a decision about how to care for our two girls, who were then two years old and three months old.
I always assumed we would send them to daycare, while I continued my work as a church pastor. But the more we thought about it, the less sense it made. Why should I give my paycheck to a stranger to look after my kids? So four years ago, I decided to become a stay-at-home dad.
I asked myself, "How hard can this be? I’ve done hard things before." I am a 43-yearold liver cancer survivor who had undergone a liver transplant when I was 10.
Since then, I’ve participated in numerous triathlons and marathons, including the Ironman triathlon. If I could train myself to swim 3.8 km, bike 180 km, and run a marathon in 14 hours, I could do this.
I was wrong. Compared to being a SAHD, running the Ironman was a warm-up. Becoming a SAHD drove me to despair. I struggled with the mundaneness of chores and looking after my girls. It felt like all my ambitions and dreams were gone. I felt stuck in this hopeless situation, and there seemed to be no way out.
Whenever I took my children to a "Mums and Tots" play group, I questioned my identity. What was I, a guy, doing among a sea of mums and children? Did I even belong? I was only there because I needed a place for my children to play.
Whenever I took my girls out, I felt like I was an exotic animal in a zoo as strangers would stare at me. Once, a cashier even pointed at me and called me a "housewife". I can’t lie, that did not feel good.
Denne historien er fra June 2023-utgaven av Her World Singapore.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent ? Logg på
Denne historien er fra June 2023-utgaven av Her World Singapore.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
What Are Some Watches That Double As Pieces Of Art?
The Bvlgari Fenice High Jewellery watch is a spell-binding expression of the Italian jeweller's audacious aesthetic.
Getting To The Seoul Of K-Beauty
The days of complex 10-step skincare routines may be behind us, but K-beauty's skin-first approach continues to dominate markets worldwide. Here's a closer look at the phenomenon.
My Super Power Is Saying No
It's 2009, and some 1.67 million Singaporeans are tuning into the two-hour finale of the hit Chinese language series The Little Nyonya, transfixed by the multi-generational saga of three Peranakan families.
New York State Of Mind
Inspired by the Big Apple, Coach's new Times Square Tabby is an amalgamation of the city's love stories, both old and new.
Building Safer Workplaces
As an increasing number of workplaces are understanding the importance of mental health, we ask three leaders what it will take to move the needle to create environments where we can speak up, challenge the status quo, and have our needs met.
What Beauty Routine Should You Follow If You Have Eczema?
Quinn Chen, co-founder of Singapore beauty brand, Ice's Secret, answers.
A Mid-Career Change Is Not A Crisis
A mid-career switch, while daunting, can be the key to unlocking a more fulfilling and aligned professional life.
It's Cool To Get Cold
Ice baths are popping up around Singapore, waiting for you to take the plunge.
Will joining a breast cancer support group help me with my healing journey?
Emily Goh, senior medical social worker, answers.
PASSION FOR A CAUSE
Rebellion of the academic sort - runs in Anna Yip's blood. The deputy CEO of Singtel Singapore tells us how self-love, confidence, and a passion for tech guide her as she leads one of the nation's most established telecommunications companies into the future.
