The Scarlet Letter

To get some insight on how and why affairs happen, we spoke to Dato’ Dr. Arunan Selvaraj, lawyer and author of Saving Your Marriage

- Daphne Ng

When it comes to divorce, one’s mind immediately strays to the most unforgivable of human sins-did she betray your trust? Did his interest wane when his eyes wandered? The reasons for infidelity vary across genders-but we’ve all read enough self help books and thought provoking articles to know most men are motivated by sexual intent, whereas most women veer towards emotional feelings, or in this century, vice versa.

According to Dato Dr. Arunan Selvaraj, either party can be responsible for a breakdown in the marriage, be it the husband or wife. Root causes usually include: lack of emotional and sexual pleasure, lack of attention, a breakdown in communication, and the curiousity of ‘what if’ that affairs bring. “Some do not get enough attention at home, so they carry these negative feelings to work. Due to unresolved issues at home, they seek solace in the company of a third party, in most cases someone from work whom they feel would be able to relate to them more compared to their partners at home,” says Dr. Arunan.

CASE #1