A Job Well Done
Reader's Digest UK|July 2022
This month Olly Mann laments the challenges of hosting a peak-season barbecue
Olly Mann
A Job Well Done

At my house, I’ll have you know, barbecue season begins in late March, thank you very much, and is extinguished only in early November. And, actually (to use a meaty metaphor), I prefer the shoulder season. When I offer my guests kebabs at Easter time, they are pleasantly surprised, and typically delighted, to serenade the holiday with cubes of grilled meat (lamb, usually. Rabbit feels a bit on the nose). When Halloween hits, I wheel out my toasted marshmallows, and it’s a joyous festive treat! But midsummer barbecues? I can feel my stress levels rising just thinking about them…

For one thing, barbecuing in the summer attracts spectators. I am a capable enough cook, but—as with my parallel parking and tennis serves—the presence of an audience directly discounts my ability to impress. There’s enough to deal with as it is: balancing three incredibly sharp objects, unsure which has been used to prick raw meat and which was intended for the cooked stuff; preventing my kids from running right into the flames as they chase balloons and bubbles around the garden; trying to divert my own blood, dripping from my fingers thanks to said sharp objects, from erroneously brining the burger patties.

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