Make Yourself Clear

The path to the life of your dreams lies just ahead. All you need is a simple plan that will bring it into focus.

- Martha Beck

OVER A YEAR AGO, one of my dear friends (I’ll call her Sarah) was diagnosed with inoperable cancer. Stage IV. Terminal. Since then, everything Sarah’s done has felt supercharged with significance. She, along with everyone around her, has begun to think more and more about lists. Lists of things she wants to do before she’s too weak to do them. Places she still wants to go. People she wants to visit. Art, movies, and music she wants to enjoy. Every list is so heartbreakingly brief, every item so important. A glass of Champagne, a football game, a hug—all become enormously profound when you’re aware that they could be the last thing someone will cross off her list.

As the owner of an ADD brain, I make a to-do list every morning, and I often rewrite it throughout the day. But as Anne Lamott puts it, we’re all terminal on this bus, and it’s entirely possible that for some reason (fatal aneurysm, bird flu, blimp accident), I’ll die before Sarah—so when I’m creating my list, I try to keep in mind a saying I once heard: “Since death is certain, and the hour is uncertain, what matters right now?”

I’ve relied on this approach for years, even before Sarah’s diagnosis, and I highly recommend you try it yourself. The method takes attention and practice, but when you master it, you’ll find that a humble to-do list can bring you more happiness than any winning lottery ticket or dream vacation. It’s one of the best ways I know to stay aligned with our ultimate purpose.

1. Identify your long-range goals.