A New Year resolution to give up snoring is easier to make than to keep.
Though I write this in December, I’m pretty sure that by the time you read it, I’ll have already broken my only New Year resolution. You see, I have promised myself I’ll give up snoring.
Sadly, even my feeble powers of prognostication can detect that my future self will fail at this. That means by now – which is to say by the time you read this – someone, who shall remain nameless, and possibly sleepless, has informed me that, although I had resolved to give up snoring and had believed I’d given up snoring, I have not given it up at all and, consequently, have been sawing away with loud abandon for all of 2019, albeit the year only a week or so old.
This is the trouble with New Year resolutions. They’re easily made after several glasses of something with hints of grapefruit and bold, grassy notes, and then easily broken, especially when sleeping off several glasses of something with hints of grapefruit, etc, while lying on your back with your mouth open.
And so another year will begin in disappointment.
Denne historien er fra January 12-18, 2019-utgaven av New Zealand Listener.
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Denne historien er fra January 12-18, 2019-utgaven av New Zealand Listener.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
First-world problem
Harrowing tales of migrants attempting to enter the US highlight the political failure to fully tackle the problem.
Applying intelligence to AI
I call it the 'Terminator Effect', based on the premise that thinking machines took over the world.
Nazism rears its head
Smirky Höcke, with his penchant for waving with a suspiciously straight elbow and an open palm, won't get to be boss of either state.
Staying ahead of the game
Will the brave new world of bipartisanship that seems to be on offer with an Infrastructure Commission come to fruition?
Grasping the nettle
Broccoli is horrible. It smells, when being cooked, like cat pee.
Hangry? Eat breakfast
People who don't break their fast first thing in the morning report the least life satisfaction.
Chemical reaction
Nitrates in processed meats are well known to cause harm, but consumed from plant sources, their effect is quite different.
Me and my guitar
Australian guitarist Karin Schaupp sticks to the familiar for her Dunedin concerts.
Time is on my side
Age does not weary some of our much-loved musicians but what keeps them on the road?
The kids are not alright
Nuanced account details how China's blessed generation has been replaced by one consumed by fear and hopelessness.