The ANNuAl export of muttoN from New Zealand is 34,380 tons per annum, declared Miss Ootle.
Miss Ootle was our teacher, see, this was Geography and somehow relevant to the patchwork education my friends Barkle and Torpid and I were engaged in. Our personal focus at the age of ten, however, was How Things Work. How indeed it had been for our earliest ancestors, hunter-gatherers, basic to survival itself, and presently our problem was one of aerodynamics: whether a fly lands on the ceiling by a half-loop or a half-roll. This may seem a petty thing to the earthbound, but it had been the obsession of aviators ever since 1908 when some daredevil first looped-the-loop without falling out of his flying machine or the wings coming off. We gave scarce a fig for New Zealand, the mutton or Miss Ootle.
Barkle and Torpid were twins. I found their names strange, to start with. I mean Barkle was unusual enough, though possible, but Torpid was just plain ridiculous, man! Turned out they were actually Michael and Norman and they both had adenoid problems. Wududwe sdigga big flar or subbig odda sbord plade foad egsberibed? said Torpid.
Denne historien er fra July 2017-utgaven av Noseweek.
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Denne historien er fra July 2017-utgaven av Noseweek.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
Lennie The Liquidator Faces R500,000 Defamation Suit
After losing his cool when his fees were questioned
Panel Beater De Luxe
Danmar Autobody and its erstwhile directors get a serious panel beating in court papers. Corruption and theft are said to have destroyed the firm chaired by Nelson Mandela’s eldest daughter, leaving 200 workers destitute and threatening to kill.
Meet Covid Diarist Ronald Wohlman
Ronald Wohlman – EX SOUTH African copywriter, author, and actor – never dreamt that his lockdown diaries, written on Facebook and followed by people all over the world – would become his “life’s work”.
A Picture Of Peace?
Beware: Appearances can be deceptive
Flogging A (Battery-Driven) Dead Horse
Why plug-in vehicles are not all they’re cracked up to be– and, likely, never will be
Everybody Drinks Corona
I am hesitant to go Into the pub today. Not because it’s illegal, but there is a crème colored 1985 Mercedes 300D parked behind the pine tree. This means the devil is inside; that’s what we call Dr. De Villiers. You don’t know whether you will encounter the good doctor with the charming bedside manner or the violent, bipolar bully. The problem is, most of the time, you can never be sure which it is, so it’s best to always keep a social distance.
Never Take A Hypochondriac To A Pandemic
From Ronald Wohlman’s New York Corona Diary
The money train
Transnet in court battle with liquidators of Gupta-linked audit firm over R57m in ‘corrupt’ payments and invoices
‘He's no pharmaceutical genius, he's a vulture'
Pharma con seeks prison release to ‘help find Covid cure’
Bush school – A memoir
OUR SCHOOL WAS IN THE MIDDLE of the bush, ten miles from the nearest town in the harsh beauty of the Zimbabwean highveld. It started life in World War II as No 26 EFTS Guinea Fowl, a Royal Air Force elementary flying training school and I arrived there in 1954, just seven years after it became an all-white co-ed state boarding school.
