Go On Mamas. Make My Day!
ALL YOU UNATHLETES OUT there, it may inter-est you to know that many of the marathon events these days include also a 10km fun-run for one’s family, so they don’t feel left out. That doesn’t mean they have to run, of course, they can walk if they fade along the way. Stroll. It’s all for the companionship, you see; we-e-ell, the Comradeship, on a small scale. The serious club runners blast off first, see, so the kids and cripples and geriatrics don’t get under their feet. I qualify for the fun run on two counts: Cripple and Geriatric.
What happened to me when I was only 85 was real Mad German Scientist stuff, I tell you: to dig veins from my legs and plant them in my heart. I mean next thing you know is they’ll be extracting DNA mysteries from one’s genitalia and grafting them to one’s sensibilities. Why, I recently met a crumpled up old Emeritus Professor of Something who said to me he felt okay about being all crumpled up and ready for the hereafter because he had humped 200 women in his lifetime and how’s that hey? And how I thought was, hey this ou has got his dick diced up by some psychopath sangoma somewhere and stuck in his skull.
Denne historien er fra June 2018-utgaven av Noseweek.
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Denne historien er fra June 2018-utgaven av Noseweek.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
Lennie The Liquidator Faces R500,000 Defamation Suit
After losing his cool when his fees were questioned
Panel Beater De Luxe
Danmar Autobody and its erstwhile directors get a serious panel beating in court papers. Corruption and theft are said to have destroyed the firm chaired by Nelson Mandela’s eldest daughter, leaving 200 workers destitute and threatening to kill.
Meet Covid Diarist Ronald Wohlman
Ronald Wohlman – EX SOUTH African copywriter, author, and actor – never dreamt that his lockdown diaries, written on Facebook and followed by people all over the world – would become his “life’s work”.
A Picture Of Peace?
Beware: Appearances can be deceptive
Flogging A (Battery-Driven) Dead Horse
Why plug-in vehicles are not all they’re cracked up to be– and, likely, never will be
Everybody Drinks Corona
I am hesitant to go Into the pub today. Not because it’s illegal, but there is a crème colored 1985 Mercedes 300D parked behind the pine tree. This means the devil is inside; that’s what we call Dr. De Villiers. You don’t know whether you will encounter the good doctor with the charming bedside manner or the violent, bipolar bully. The problem is, most of the time, you can never be sure which it is, so it’s best to always keep a social distance.
Never Take A Hypochondriac To A Pandemic
From Ronald Wohlman’s New York Corona Diary
The money train
Transnet in court battle with liquidators of Gupta-linked audit firm over R57m in ‘corrupt’ payments and invoices
‘He's no pharmaceutical genius, he's a vulture'
Pharma con seeks prison release to ‘help find Covid cure’
Bush school – A memoir
OUR SCHOOL WAS IN THE MIDDLE of the bush, ten miles from the nearest town in the harsh beauty of the Zimbabwean highveld. It started life in World War II as No 26 EFTS Guinea Fowl, a Royal Air Force elementary flying training school and I arrived there in 1954, just seven years after it became an all-white co-ed state boarding school.
