Incoming baby!

Most parents plan to have a second baby so that the older child has a ‘companion’. And it does surely have many benefits like learning to share, having a playmate, bonding, and having someone who is close to your age, who is a part of your life for many years. But this well-intentioned plan is not without hiccups when sibling rivalry and jealousy rears its head.

- Sonali Shivlani

It can make things really tough, not just for the parents but for the kids as well. There’s then a sense of despair wondering how their lovable tot has suddenly turned into a tantrum-throwing menace! After all, they really have the best of intentions.

Let’s think about this from your toddlers’ perspective. Just for one tiny moment, place yourself in those little shoes and see how you feel. You will understand much better what that little child is going through. They do not have a level of understanding. Most toddlers are barely speaking. They feel upset, they feel uprooted but they cannot express themselves. The only way that they can is by acting up. If parents at this time respond harshly it can actually aggravate the problem.

Does that mean that you should not have a second baby? On the contrary! All the reasons that you want to have a second child are completely valid, but it is very important to prepare yourself, your older child and also the family for this change so that the transition does not leave a scarring impact on your older child. Even if we are dealing with a slightly older child, the feelings of being uprooted and left out are still there so be cognizant and show empathy. Let us start with pregnancy; if you are a mum to a toddler and are expecting again there will be some physical changes that may prevent you from taking care of your toddler as compared to earlier. Many mums want to know if they can pick up their child, make them sit on their lap and so on. This will depend mainly on your pregnancy condition.