The Pinocchio Problem

Before you get unhinged over your little one’s tall tales, we help you understand the reasons behind it and how to deal with this pickle.

We have all heard the utterance of “Liar! Liar! Pants on fire!” at playgrounds and in classrooms growing up. Our tendency for telling lies is an almost innate part of who we are, with an estimated 60 percent of adults not being able to hold a 10-minute conversation without spouting at least one lie. Naturally, our little ones would also pick up on our sneaky, two-faced ways, with studies showing that 90 percent of children would have learnt the concept of lying by the age of four.

It can be agreed that no one likes a lying child, but for as long as they can hold us hostage by bringing up the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus, it is perhaps shrewd to see that lying is here to stay. Lying as a means to wriggle out of punishment or to get a few extra cookies is harmless enough. What we have to (and can) guard against is for our innocuous little angels to develop into pathological liars, where the act of lying becomes compulsive and almost second nature to them.

Behind The Smoke Screen

While a lie is a lie, not all lies are the same, and the reasons why children lie vary across different age groups. To nip lying at the bud, it is important to get to the root of it and learn to discern the types of untruths they are telling. At the toddler phase, children first dip their toes in the lying pool by trying out self-serving fibs. These are inconsequential lies uttered out of fear, the need to feel safe, or to appease you. So asking your toddler, “Did you break the vase?” in an angry tone is almost always going to get you a “Not me” response.