When Arsene Wenger opted to serve a touchline ban in the press box recently, I found myself hoping Trevor Bayliss might consider following the Arsenal football manager’s lead – if only to spare us those close-up shots of him on the balcony.
If you’re wondering what they remind you of, next time you’re behind a car with one of those nodding dogs in the back window, try and picture it with a floppy sun hat on.
This winter’s Ashes series won’t have been much fun for an English cricket hack in Australia, largely because there is nothing quite so nauseating as a press box full of Aussie journos when their team is sticking it to the Poms.
With the England coach in the box, though, they could have at least lightened the mood with a few questions. “So, Trev. Now that you’ve kindly agreed to stay in charge for another two years, tell me. What exactly is it that you do?”
Unlike soccer, or rugby, they can be long old days in a cricket press box, and when it’s a dull old game, or rain stops play, Bayliss himself might find it an agreeable change helping compile an all-time Ugly XI, or offer helpful suggestions to a journalist struggling to come up with a catchy intro.
Which is why, when Darren Gough made his debut for Yorkshire at the age of 18, he was fairly startled to pick up the paper next morning and find himself described as the son of a Barnsley rat catcher.
Given that Gough senior was an office bound pest control officer for Rentokil, this was one of the better examples of creative writing.
For reasons that entirely escape me, journalists are never more closely associated with creative writing than when they’re filling in an expenses form, and one of the all-time legends in this area cemented his place in the hall of fame on one rainy 1980s afternoon in the Yorkshire press box.
When there’s nothing to do but wait for the next inspection, conversations can fly off in almost any direction, and on this occasion it happened to be motor cars. With someone wondering out loud why, when the car’s going backwards, the mileometer doesn’t budge.
Denne historien er fra January 19,2018-utgaven av The Cricket Paper.
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Denne historien er fra January 19,2018-utgaven av The Cricket Paper.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
Kohli leads RCB to much-needed win
VIRAT KOHLI returned to top form with 72 not out to lead RCB to an eight-wicket victory over the Royals in Abu Dhabi.
TEWATIA HAS SPARKED MY LOVE AFFAIR WITH THE IPL
James Wallace admits he has been surprisingly taken in by the IPL so far – and, in particular, the performance of a new Royal renegade
Whitewash victory is just the T20 tonic for Keightley
A SERIES that few thought would come to fruition ended in triumph for England who completed a 5-0 whitewash of the West Indies in Derby.
TEN OUT OF TEN! RYAN IS BASKING IN MORE GLORY
Chris Stocks catches up with Ryan ten Doeschate, who has plotted Essex’s recent county domination every step of the way
Surrey have the Will to end hoodoo
WILL Jacks may be a hot batting prospect but he’s relished the added responsibility with the ball in Surrey’s charge to T20 Finals Day.
NOW IT'S OUR TIME TO HELP OTHERS
Chris Stocks catches up with England’s director of cricket and discusses the need for the ECB to help boards around the world
IT'S OFTEN DOWN TO A THROW OF THE DICE
Garfield Robinson explains just how big a part luck plays in determining success or failure in sport
FINDING TALENTS LIKE TOM IS A GAIN IN ITSELF
One of the unexpected highlights to emerge from English cricket’s Covid-attenuated season was the chance given to young players to strut their stuff. With many overseas players and Kolpaks affected by travel restrictions many counties looked instead to the young talent on their staffs with gratifying results.
Future looks bright for the Ohio Slinger
ALI Khan is earning his stars and stripes in the Indian Premier League, with the first American to play in the tournament breaking down barriers in every sense.
Spin trio put squeeze on after Glenn shows off skill with the bat
SARAH GLENN helped England spin it to win it after proving she can make an all-round contribution.