Bad Sex Happens. But It Doesn't Have to Happen Again

Bad sex is making a ton of headlines. The phrase has become an umbrella term for everything from a nsensual-but-lacklustre encounter to borderline-coercive intercourse.

- Julie Vadnal

We’re focusing on the former: intimacy between two willing partners that falls short of being satisfying. Because while all great sex must be consensual – and include communication, passion and pleasure for both parties – not all consensual sex is great. Some is pretty damn awful, whether it’s with a one-night stand or a long-term lover.

It is possible to fix blah sessions, though, says sexologist and sexual-wellness coach Jill McDevitt. There is never a need just to suffer through it. ‘Always know that you can stop and check in at any time during sex,’ she says. Can that feel awks? Sure, at first. But it’s worth it to have better sex. Follow this guide for how to handle a lame lust life – we have several solutions for whatever’s amiss.

When There’s an Unwanted Twist

‘On our third date, Scott and I started talking about how we lost our virginity. I went first (first year at university, nice guy, totally basic), and he told me that he’d only had sex with one person, one time, about a year earlier. After a solid kissing session, heavy petting led to nakedness in his bedroom. He fiddled around with my hoo-ha, then finally penetrated the correct orifice. A few minutes later, he asked, “Would you like me to put it in your butt?” – as if he were asking, “May I get the door for you?” He saw my surprise and said, “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought women liked getting it from behind.”’ -SHANNON, 31

TAKE CHARGE

If he goes for something unexpected and not your style but you want to keep the momentum going, say, ‘We can talk about that later, but what if we do this instead?’ Then guide him to your favourite move.

HALT THE ACTION