Is Bitching Good For You?
Cosmopolitan - South Africa|December 2018

We all love a bit of goss – but we often tend to feel a bit guilty afterwards. Time to relax, says Jaime Waddington – psychologists are claiming that having a bit of a rant is actually good for us!

Is Bitching Good For You?

One of the reasons Mean Girls resonated with so many of us was because we all saw a bit of ourselves in the characters. I’m not talking about deciding whether butter is a carb, or wearing pink on Wednesdays – I’m talking about their kneejerk stab-in-the-back bitchiness. Because let’s face it: we all bitch.

Whether it’s having a moan about an irritating friend or criticising the boss in front of your colleagues, there’s nothing quite as soothing as letting off steam behind someone’s back. Yet sometimes that eagerness to tear someone down can leave a nasty taste in your mouth, and a feeling in your heart that some things are better left unsaid.

But what if I told you psychologists have discovered that a good bitch isn’t just therapeutic – it’s a crucial part of human bonding?

It’s human nature

Despite bitching’s dodgy reputation, evidence suggests we need to stop feeling bad about it. ‘When we talk about someone behind their back, the reward is the feeling of emotional closeness in the moment with the person with whom you are gossiping,’ says Johannesburg clinical psychologist Chantal da Cruz. ‘The emotional connection is achieved by being open and vulnerable, and by possibly receiving validation and empathy. It’s also satisfying – you feel a sense of community and belonging in the moment.’

That bond tends to be even stronger when the information is negative. Why? Because it’s more risky to share a negative view, so the trust between you and that person becomes even greater.

Denne historien er fra December 2018-utgaven av Cosmopolitan - South Africa.

Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.

Denne historien er fra December 2018-utgaven av Cosmopolitan - South Africa.

Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.

FLERE HISTORIER FRA COSMOPOLITAN - SOUTH AFRICASe alt
Marc Buckner
Cosmopolitan - South Africa

Marc Buckner

The Bachelor SA Season 2’s star is here to make you swoon. Find out why boss babes are ready to risk it all for this adventurous dog lover.

time-read
1 min  |
May 2020
I Tested Positive For The Alzheimer's Gene At 26 Years Old
Cosmopolitan - South Africa

I Tested Positive For The Alzheimer's Gene At 26 Years Old

A DNA testing kit is like a crystal ball, but what if you don’t like what you see?

time-read
3 mins  |
May 2020
Basically No-One Has A 28-Day Menstrual Cycle
Cosmopolitan - South Africa

Basically No-One Has A 28-Day Menstrual Cycle

Brought to you by: the idea of a ‘normal’ period is a lie

time-read
2 mins  |
May 2020
For Those Times When You're Like, ‘I Love You, But You're Annoying...'
Cosmopolitan - South Africa

For Those Times When You're Like, ‘I Love You, But You're Annoying...'

Coupledom can be hard!

time-read
5 mins  |
May 2020
How To Get Sh*t Done
Cosmopolitan - South Africa

How To Get Sh*t Done

Calling all procrastinators: sometimes getting started on a new project or goal can be the hardest part. Here’s how to stop putting it off and actually press go

time-read
5 mins  |
May 2020
Is Rage Bait Okay?
Cosmopolitan - South Africa

Is Rage Bait Okay?

It has become the new engagement strategy for many brands. Companies bait their followers into engaging with their content around topics that cause outrage. But is this okay? Social -media strategists Talya Goldberg and Jabulile Dlamini -Qwesha share their views.

time-read
2 mins  |
May 2020
Is Cardio A Scam? And 7 Other Not-stupid Questions About Fitness Things
Cosmopolitan - South Africa

Is Cardio A Scam? And 7 Other Not-stupid Questions About Fitness Things

Thanks for calling 0800 -WTF- Is -This

time-read
3 mins  |
May 2020
Hold The Phone
Cosmopolitan - South Africa

Hold The Phone

Zozibini Tunzi is here to remind you all to Take. Up. Space. She’s rewriting the pageantry rulebook, and she wants you to join in (in a bath, wearing sparkly boots, because that’s just how we roll).

time-read
10 mins  |
May 2020
How To Tell It Like It Is *And Finally Get A Promotion*
Cosmopolitan - South Africa

How To Tell It Like It Is *And Finally Get A Promotion*

Receiving constructive criticism on your work can be terrifying. But do it right and it can be a career game-changer.

time-read
5 mins  |
May 2020
What Makes A Compulsive Liar?
Cosmopolitan - South Africa

What Makes A Compulsive Liar?

We all do it. Tell those lit t le white lies to ourselves, and others. But what about those for whom lying is a way of life? Catriona Harvey-Jenner investigates the rise of a new kind of scammer.

time-read
10 mins  |
May 2020