The New Guy: Will He Stay?

So you met someone in December, and you’re wondering if it’ll DEVELOP into a LONG-TERM relationship? Experts and men weigh in to help you SPOT THE SIGNS early.

- Phila Tyekana

Festive hook-ups are exciting. The relationship feels like a permanent honeymoon. From the endless flirting to cuddling and romantic rendezvous, it feels like this is the guy you’ll hang out with for years to come. Or is it?  

Come January, when everyone is getting back into the swing of things, you start to wonder if your chemistry will actually progress into a serious relationship. You want it to be real and eternal, but do you know if he feels the same? Before you initiate that dreaded “what are we?” talk, check for these signs to see if there’s potential for growth or if you’re just wasting your time.

NO DEEP CONVERSATIONS

Relationship expert Paula Quinsee says when we feel comfortable in a relationship, we have no issues sharing our dreams, hopes and fears with our partners. If your man is not engaging in meaningful conversations with you, he doesn’t feel comfortable opening up or he’s just not interested in sharing his real feelings with you.  Siso, 39, says, “Why would I want to share stuff about myself with someone I see no future with? A man will never open up to someone they don’t see as an investment.” This is harsh. But Sizwe, 35, also agrees and says: “I’m not going to ask you about your future plans or well-being if I’m only interested in just a fling with you.” His friend, Thabo, 37, adds: “We’ll compliment your hair or shoes, talk about a TV show but nothing too serious. In fact, we’ll avoid talking about the relationship or refer to it as ‘us’. There’s no us!”