Winter 2015, I was trying to come off tranquillisers, and thought that watching the bland One Direction: This Is Us, would help. My family were away, so it was the ideal time. The shaking and sweating I had done before. And the nausea. But I wasn’t prepared for the agony that overwhelmed me and had me curled up in a ball on the floor by the time the final credits rolled.
Slippery slope
My problems started in July 2010, when I learned my husband wanted to call time on our 13-year relationship.I was distressed and worried – overnight, I stopped sleeping. I’d had insomnia years earlier, but this time I had school-age children and a senior job in journalism.
After a couple of sleepless nights, I saw my GP, who dashed off a prescription for temazepam, an old-fashioned sleeping pill. It didn’t work. Within a month, I was signed off work; within two, I found myself in the office of an NHS psychiatrist. This gently spoken consultant seemed sympathetic to my plight. By then, I hadn’t slept for about eight weeks and was insane with exhaustion. I was begging him for something – anything – to get me some sleep. He prescribed me something called clonazepam. Then an antidepressant called trazodone joined the party.
All drugs have side-effects, but the particular ‘villain’ here was the clonazepam, which belongs to a group of drugs called benzodiazepines (benzos for short). Benzos have a bad rap because of their potential for swift dependency, tolerance and withdrawal symptoms.
At the start, clonazepam helped me a lot. I slept a bit – only in short bursts, but at least I had some periods of unconsciousness. As well as a little insulation against an incredibly stressful domestic situation.
Denne historien er fra November 04, 2019-utgaven av WOMAN'S OWN.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent ? Logg på
Denne historien er fra November 04, 2019-utgaven av WOMAN'S OWN.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
MAGNIFICENT MAURITIUS
Pe This istand in the ut 7% Indian Ocean feels Sa: like paradise, says Charlotte Richards
I HATE BEING A MUM
One woman, 55, reveals why she resents all of the sacrifices she made to be a mother
SLASH SUGAR AND SLIM
Trying to lose weight? With these clever tweaks, you don’t have to miss out on the seasonal sweet stuff
DAWN HARPER ASK THE DOCTOR
Doctor Dawn Harper answers all your questions
SEX HORRORS SOLVED!
Stop physical intimacy from turning into the stuff of nightmares with our expert advice
THE TRUTH ABOUT LIFE WITH CANCER
More than 12,000 people are diagnosed with brain tumours each year in the UK. Two mums tell us how the cruel disease changed their lives forever
DAWN NEESOM MIND OF MY OWN
The Woman's Own columnist has her say on marriage, tea and Absolutely Fabulous!
TRAPPED INSIDE MY HOME WITH A MONSTER
Gemma Williams, 46, thought she'd die at the hands of her partner
AMANDA TO REPLACE CAT?
With increasing criticism directed at the This Morning host, are producers ready to call in a familiar face?
Get the GOSS
Your round-up of this week's biggest showbiz stories