I Was Letting My Kids Down
WOMAN'S OWN|January 27, 2020
Clare O’Connell, 34, was sick of making excuses not to join in the fun with her young family
Frances Leate
I Was Letting My Kids Down

Throwing myself into the ball pit, I grabbed hold of my daughter, Maggie, five, and lifted her into the air. ‘Let’s go on that now, Mummy!’ she squealed, pointing at the slide. So, picking up my son, Chester, three, we made our way to the top and whooshed back into the sea of balls.

We’d had such a fun day that the three of us couldn’t stop giggling, but as I pulled myself out, I felt a lump form in my throat. While I may have been doingwhat any other mum or dad would – having fun with their kids – for me it was a special moment, because, only 11 months earlier, weighing 17st 10lb and a size 24, I’d have been sitting on the sidelines.

A monumental task

I’d always been big. Even when I married John, then 28, in August 2012, I’d had to ask my aunt to make me something that would cover as much of my body as possible. She created a beautiful size 24 lace-and-cream dress with plenty of layers to hide my then 16st 7lb body.

Even though it was stunning, I felt self-conscious on the day and so annoyed with myself. Why hadn’t I lost some weight beforehand? The truth was, I was in denial.

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