I don't want to move abroad

A PROBLEM SHARED: Mum-of-two Anita Naik has been an agony aunt for 28 years

- Anita Naik

Q I met my husband when we were both 15 and we got married at 21. We’ve now been married for 40 years. He’s a lovely man, and we have a great relationship in many ways, but I never really feel I have had a say in our life. He was the one who worked and made money, so he decided what we would do with it. He has a strong personality, and while he does ask me what I think out of politeness, I never tell him the truth as I don’t want to argue. Now he wants to move to Portugal when he retires this year. I don’t want to, but how do I tell him when he doesn’t even listen to me? Gill, 61, by email

A Finding your voice in a relationship isn’t easy when you’ve been married for so long and from such a young age. As strong as your husband’s personality is, he does ask for your opinion, but you choose not to say anything. He’s not listening to you because you don’t make him. I suggest you tell him how you feel before you end up living somewhere you don’t want to be and blaming him for it. You’ll feel better for having an open conversation.