I'm Scared My Son Will Kill Me

Distraught mum Caroline Lewis, 51, has endured violent rages and threats, but through it all she’s vowed not to give up on her little boy

- Lucy Needham & Louise Baty

Gently pulling a T-shirt over my son’s head, I braced myself. Sure enough, Paulie’s little face reappeared, contorted with rage. Launching himself at me, he pummelled my chest with his tiny fists and scratched my arms.

‘Why do you keep hurting me?’ I whispered, when he’d finally stopped.

It was April 2010 and Paulie was an angelic-looking two-year-old with delicate features. He was my third child – the adored baby of our family. But when he’d been born two years earlier, in April 2008, I’d sensed that he was different from his siblings, Lauren, then 25, Richard, then 15.

He’d been a tense, fractious baby who rarely smiled and didn’t seem to feel pain – he didn’t flinch during his vaccinations. Now as a toddler, he’d scream at other children at playgroups.

A violent attack

At our home in Clacton-on-Sea, Essex, he’d turn his anger on me. As a single mum, it was hard. ‘He’s just going through a phase,’ a health visitor said. But instinctively, I knew this was more than a case of toddler tantrums.

In May 2010, Paulie’s uncle Frank, 38, gave us a black kitten, who we named Lion. I hoped that having a pet would calm Paulie. But the next day, we were having lunch when he jumped down and plunged his metal fork into Lion’s back. I gasped with horror as Frank scooped up the injured, miaowing animal. ‘Never do that again,’ I scolded, grabbing the fork from Paulie, but he didn’t react.

Thankfully, Lion quickly recovered, but seeing my son, vacant without a shred of empathy, scared me.