My Kids Deserved Better

Claire Grant, 33, knew she had to take drastic measures to be the mum she wanted to be

- Saskia Murphy And Mark Mackay

Watching my fiancé and kids playing together in the park, I shuffed awkwardly on the bench. It was May 2011, and Bill, then 28, and I had decided to take our boys Frazer, two, and Angus, five months, for a walk. I would have loved nothing more than to push the kids on the swings and hold them on my knees as we slid down the slide together. But at 22nd 7lb and a size 24, I knew I’d last two minutes before getting out of breath, or worse, get stuck on the slide. Instead, I just looked on guiltily, wishing I could be the mum my kids deserved. I hadn’t always been so big. When I first met Bill at 17, I was a curvy size 14, and I played on a rugby team. Then, in March 2007, I discovered I was pregnant. Only 20, we hadn’t planned to have a baby yet, but we were delighted and Bill proposed to me soon after.

Pregnancy cravings

Once my morning sickness had subsided, I developed a craving for cheesecake. ‘I’ll just grab another,’ I laughed to Bill as I put a chocolate cheesecake into the trolley on the weekly shop. Back home, I sliced the cake into three, eating a slice for breakfast, a slice for lunch and a slice for dinner when I didn’t fancy anything else.

It wasn’t long before I noticed the weight piling on. Concerned, doctors tested me for gestational diabetes, but I was relieved when the results came back clear. Midwives gently advised me to make healthy choices, but I was ravenous all the time. I'd pile my plate high with kebab meat from our local takeaway, polishing it off with another huge slice of cheesecake.

Soon I was 20st. At 5ft 9in, I’d always told myself I had room for a few extra pounds, but now, looking in the mirror, I realised I was drastically overweight.