Staring at my phone, I willed it to ring. But as it remained silent in my hand, the minutes ticking by like seconds, I felt a growing, deep sense of dread.
It was close to midnight on 2 March 2019 and earlier that evening I'd received a call from my mum Debbie, then 54, to say that my brother Yousef, 17, was in Manchester Roval Infirmary, badly hurt.
My husband Mazen, then 32, had rushed there while I stayed with our three young children, and time passed agonisingly slowly as I waited for news.
Finally, in the early hours, the door opened and Mazen appeared. His drooping shoulders and broken expression sent an icy chill through me.
'I'm so sorry. Yousef has died, he was stabbed,' he said, wrapping his arms around me.
'What?' I gasped. How could anyone want to hurt my baby brother, the boy with the bright eyes and winning smile? I couldn't imagine a world without my Yousef and as grief tore through me, I thought, "How will Mum cope without him?'
I was 11 when Yousef had been born on 28 September 2001, and as I watched him grow up I'd sensed he'd do something special. He was incredibly bright, reading books before starting school and moving on to broadsheet newspapers.
There were four of us - our sister Rachel who was three years older than me and our brother Mazen, who was born two years after Yousef. Life in our house was noisy and fun. A single parent, Mum juggled several jobs but still found time to cook delicious meals, including Yousef's favourite - roast chicken with Yorkshire puddings.
In 2013, I'd moved out to train as a primary school teacher, having got married and had Raafat in 2009. I then had Zack in 2017 followed by Daniel in 2018.
But I'd still go over most days to help, as Mum suffered from debilitating arthritis.
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Denne historien er fra April 25, 2022-utgaven av WOMAN'S OWN.
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