What do you see when you look at us?
WOMAN'S OWN|March 23, 2021
It took a long time for Tineka Smith, 34, to feel her husband understood what she was experiencing
BESS BROWNING. PHOTOS: RACHEL DAWN LINCOLN
What do you see when you look at us?

A lot of people will look at the pictures on this page and see one thing – a couple very much in love. Others might also notice that we’re different races. And then there’s a group of people who will see a problem with that fact. Whether you are aware of it or not, racism is embedded in our society, and although things are starting to evolve, for me and my husband, Alex, life as an interracial couple has sometimes been a challenge. But as it turned out, Alex was worth fighting for.

I grew up on the east coast of America. My dad had been in the military, which meant we moved around a lot, but as a black man it also meant he experienced a lifetime of racial discrimination.

One day, when I was around nine, my dad sat me down. ‘You need to know that life will be different for you because of the colour of your skin,’ he told me. I stared at him with wide eyes, finding it unbelievable that something so simple as my skin colour would have such a profound effect on my life. While a conversation like this may shock a lot of people, for others it will be all too familiar.

It wasn’t long before I realised my dad was right. ‘Your teeth glow in the dark,’ my classmates said when the lights were turned off, mocking how they stood out against my dark skin.

Endless frustration

I did have lots of friends, though – of all races, another thing which was often held against me. As a teenager, when we were living in the South, if I was out with white friends, I would be stared at and receive disapproving looks.

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