When Mum LEFT HOME

Diane Danvers Simmons was a carefree teen until her mother made a shattering decision

- DIANE DANVERS SIMMONS

My mum was larger than life, a 4ft 11in Irish pistol who could cut you in two with La lash of her tongue, and in her next breath, charm you with her hospitality. She thrived on being the centre of attention.

In her mid 40s, she was a divorced mother of two when she unexpectedly fell pregnant and married Dad, a dapper 60. In addition to her kids, she became a stepmother to his teen daughter, and within months a new baby - me.

It can't have been easy to juggle her blended family. But she coped with it all until one Friday afternoon, a week after my 16th birthday, Mum told me she was leaving my father and me the next day.

At age 60, she was moving directly next door into a house she'd bought a few years earlier to live with the three hot college lads she'd been renting it to. Looking back, I think the purchase - which she'd made without discussing with my dad - was part of her exit plan.

Mum said bluntly that I was 'big and ugly enough' to take care of Dad, the dog and myself. While that sounded hurtful, her endearing manner and wry smile told me she believed I could cope without her, or so she hoped - giving her the justified excuse to leave.

She craved independence, while Dad was a traditionalist. Their relationship was indifferent and, if I'm honest, loveless. Between the arguments, threats to leave and mood swings, the marriage was over long before I had a clue.

In the meantime, Mum's temper flared more frequently and I felt I was dodging bullets. My brother and I would ponder, 'Whose turn is it to be in the doghouse?'

Yet even on the night she told me she was going, I didn't believe she'd go through with it. But the next day I came home from my Saturday job to an empty house: no note, no number - no Mum. She'd really gone and done it.