When actress Roxy Shahidi signed up to appear on ITVBe’s fly-on-the-wall documentary series Drama Queens, she was looking forward to taking on an exciting new project away from her day job on Emmerdale. But as the first episode of the show aired earlier this month, she admits she was suddenly overcome with nerves.
It follows the behind-the-scenes lives of some of the nation’s favourite soap stars as they juggle work commitments with their personal lives. Roxy bravely allowed the cameras to roll during moments when she felt incredibly vulnerable – such as opening up about the sudden death of her father when he was 41 and she was just 17.
Even though she says she felt safe and comfortable filming those very personal scenes, the thought of them being shown to millions of viewers filled her with panic. “When the camera is rolling, it’s just you, the other ladies and this crew you’ve got to know and trust,” says Roxy, who teamed up with fellow actresses including Coronation Street’s Lucy Fallon and Ellie Leach, and former EastEnders and now Hollyoaks star Rita Simons, for the eight-parter.
“But a few weeks later, you realise it’s actually going out on television and you can’t quite remember what it was you said! All you do remember is feeling vulnerable. I kept thinking, ‘What did I say? And how upset did I get?’
“On Emmerdale, you perform a script and you’ve got that character to hide behind – but this is you, in the moment, being as authentic as you can be. And that leaves you feeling a little bit exposed.”
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