
To demonstrate our dedication, we would like to announce a new array of environmental-progress investment areas.
Carbon offset: For every pipeline that we build, we will plant one tree in a local park. We will then cut down the tree to make paper to send a memo to that town’s mayor to announce that we have planted the tree so that the public knows to come and look at the tree. Just in case the public doesn’t know exactly where the tree is, we will make hundreds of thousands of paper maps available to show the location of the tree before we cut it down, so that visitors won’t need to use their phones (whose batteries are the world’s leading cause of pollution, as per a bunch of studies). This will mean that it will soon take only four thousand trees to see a tree that used to be there! And get this. The mayor we told you about? She’s a woman!
Minimizing operational waste: At all of our offices, digs, and pipeline sites, we have forbidden our employees to drink bottled water. We have also forbidden them to drink any water whatsoever, so that it can be saved for the flowers and the beetles. In the words of our founder, J. M. Milligan, “We need to look out for the beetles, because they are the only things that will protect us from the Irish.” That sort of forward-thinking environmentalism has been part of our brief since 1863.
Denne historien er fra April 08, 2024-utgaven av The New Yorker.
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Denne historien er fra April 08, 2024-utgaven av The New Yorker.
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Techniques and cIdiosyncrasies

FEAR FACTOR
How the Red Scare reshaped American politics.

PLAYTIME
The old film studios had house styles: M-G-M’s was plush and sentimental, Warner Bros.’ stark and intense.

TIME AND PLACE
“Tatlin: Kyiv” explores a Russian Constructivist’s Ukrainian identity.

MOURNING BECOMES HER
Akram Khan’s “Gigenis: The Generation of the Earth.”

TEXAS ROUNDUP
How Greg Abbott made his state the staging ground for Donald Trump's mass-deportation campaign.

HOUSE CALL
To rent or to buy is the eternal question.

INDESCRIBABLE
The human disaster of the Irish famine.

Louisa Thomas on John Updike's "Hub Fans Bid Kid Adieu"
The original idea was an assignation. On a dreary Wednesday in September, 1960, John Updike, \"falling in love, away from marriage,\" took a taxi to see his paramour.

LIP SERVICE
Zyn and the new nicotine gold rush.