![PERSONAL STATEMENT PERSONAL STATEMENT](https://cdn.magzter.com/1422886351/1700473686/articles/A3ffEN-KN1700478183439/PERSONAL-STATEMENT.jpg)
When Joyce Carol Oates was thirty-four, she started a journal. “Query,” she wrote on the first page. “Does the individual exist?” She felt that she knew little about herself—for instance, whether she was honest or a hypocrite. “I don’t know the answer to the simplest of questions,” she wrote. “What is my personal nature?”
The journal, which she began in 1973, eventually swelled to more than four thousand typed, single-spaced pages. Throughout, she alludes to a secret. “It’s there, it’s always there,” she wrote in 1978. “I wish I could give a name to it, even in code.” She thought about the secret so often, she wrote, that the journal could be named “The Person Who Has Written This Journal Lives a Secret.” She couldn’t “help but wonder (and here fiction won’t help me, art won’t help me) whether it is a secret embedded deep within everyone’s life, but particularly within the life of the creative artist.” At times the secret felt as “awkward as a hammer stuck in my pocket, getting in my way . . . at other times small and contained and indeed unobtrusive as a tiny pebble.”
Denne historien er fra November 27, 2023-utgaven av The New Yorker.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent ? Logg på
Denne historien er fra November 27, 2023-utgaven av The New Yorker.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
![SUBJECT AND OBJECT SUBJECT AND OBJECT](https://reseuro.magzter.com/100x125/articles/8859/1989915/to6VeZYHB1739191198720/SUBJECT-AND-OBJECT.jpg)
SUBJECT AND OBJECT
What happened when Lillian Ross profiled Ernest Hemingway.
![ROYAL FLUSH ROYAL FLUSH](https://reseuro.magzter.com/100x125/articles/8859/1989915/UI6Ma0OcX1739191861348/ROYAL-FLUSH.jpg)
ROYAL FLUSH
The fall of red.
![Roz Chast on George Booth's Cartoons Roz Chast on George Booth's Cartoons](https://reseuro.magzter.com/100x125/articles/8859/1989915/pzN_cTFgE1739190398786/ROZ-CHAST-ON-GEORGE-BOOTHS-CARTOONS.jpg)
Roz Chast on George Booth's Cartoons
There's almost nothing I like more than a laughing fit. It is a non-brain response, like an orgasm or a sneeze.
![CHUKA CHUKA](https://reseuro.magzter.com/100x125/articles/8859/1989915/ipIKlzJlU1739190624506/CHUKA.jpg)
CHUKA
I have always longed to be known, truly known, by another human being. Sometimes we live for years with yearnings that we cannot name.
![Rachel Aviv on Janet Malcolm's "Trouble in the Archives" Rachel Aviv on Janet Malcolm's "Trouble in the Archives"](https://reseuro.magzter.com/100x125/articles/8859/1989915/kA0ClSAKX1739187641551/RACHEL-AVIV-ON-JANET-MALCOLMS-TROUBLE-IN-THE-ARCHIVES.jpg)
Rachel Aviv on Janet Malcolm's "Trouble in the Archives"
As Janet Malcolm worked on \"Trouble in the Archives,\" a two-part piece about prominent psychoanalysts who disagreed about Freud, she began a correspondence with Kurt Eissler, the head of the Sigmund Freud Archives.
![PERSONAL HISTORY - A VISIT TO MADAM BEDI PERSONAL HISTORY - A VISIT TO MADAM BEDI](https://reseuro.magzter.com/100x125/articles/8859/1989915/2oD61HcWT1739188467373/PERSONAL-HISTORY-A-VISIT-TO-MADAM-BEDI.jpg)
PERSONAL HISTORY - A VISIT TO MADAM BEDI
I was estranged from my own mother, so a friend tried to lend me his.
![AMERICAN CHRONICLES - WAR OF WORDS AMERICAN CHRONICLES - WAR OF WORDS](https://reseuro.magzter.com/100x125/articles/8859/1989915/e3IBpWw0l1739185964212/AMERICAN-CHRONICLES-WAR-OF-WORDS.jpg)
AMERICAN CHRONICLES - WAR OF WORDS
Editors, writers, and the making of a magazine.
![LIVE FROM NEW YORK LIVE FROM NEW YORK](https://reseuro.magzter.com/100x125/articles/8859/1989915/1Xcl8aksl1739192099780/LIVE-FROM-NEW-YORK.jpg)
LIVE FROM NEW YORK
A new docuseries commemorates fifty years of \"Saturday Night Live.\"
![TANGLED WEB TANGLED WEB](https://reseuro.magzter.com/100x125/articles/8859/1989915/nkepf4WtQ1739191552715/TANGLED-WEB.jpg)
TANGLED WEB
An arachnophobe pays homage to the spider.
![TROUBLE IN PARADISE TROUBLE IN PARADISE](https://reseuro.magzter.com/100x125/articles/8859/1989915/ZS1PsgMcC1739187790416/TROUBLE-IN-PARADISE.jpg)
TROUBLE IN PARADISE
Mike White's mischievous morality plays.