Benefits include unsolicited advice from Patty about why you should go on the keto diet; Patty's Netflix password; long, repetitious monologues from her about whether she should paint her living room Cottage-Cheese White or Cocaine White; and an invitation to Patty and Larry's annual Yom Kippur breakthe-fast supper, at which Larry's third cousin, the actor Pauly Shore, might stop by. If you do not wish to be bound by the new guidelines, you must return the Bundt pan that Patty lent you for one day only last year to make your special Very Merry Berry Monkey Bread.
By reading this far, you have consented to Patty's updated Terms and Conditions.
You are now a Friend of a Friend of Patty's Through Mutual Friend Lenora ($83 a year). This entitles you to run into Patty perhaps at Amour De Hair, while crossing Lexington Avenue, or even at Lenora's baby shower, where Patty will suggest that you two get together over a hot beverage sometime.
If you would like Patty to say this sincerely, there is an additional charge of $300 (plus a $13 processing fee). In the event that she hires an assistant, you'll have to tip the assistant something, too.
Denne historien er fra October 23, 2023-utgaven av The New Yorker.
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Denne historien er fra October 23, 2023-utgaven av The New Yorker.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
The Football Bro - Pat McAfee brings a casual new style to ESPN.
If, on a cool weekend morning in autumn, you happen to be watching “College GameDay,” on ESPN, don’t worry about figuring out which of the broadcasters behind the improbably long desk is Pat McAfee. He’s the one with the roast-pork tan, his hair cut high and tight, likely tieless among his more businesslike colleagues. The rest of the onair crew—Lee Corso, Rece Davis, Kirk Herbstreit, Desmond Howard, and, newly, the former University of Alabama coach Nick Saban—tend to look and dress and talk like participants in an old-school Republican-primary debate. McAfee, though, favors windowpane checks on his jackets and a slip of chest poking out from behind his two or three open buttons. If the others are politicians, he’s the cool-coded megachurch pastor who sometimes acts as their spiritual adviser.
The Dark Time. - On the Arctic border of Russia and Norway, an espionage war is emerging.
On the Arctic border of Russia and Norway, an espionage war is emerging. The point of contact between NATO and Russia's nuclear stronghold is the small town of Kirkenes. For years, Russia has treated the area as a laboratory, testing intelligence and influence operations before replicating them across Europe.
MIRROR IMAGES
‘A Different Man” and The Substance.”
OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY
Proximity to wealth proves perilous in Rumaan Alam’ novel Entitlement.”
EYES WIDE SHUT
How Monet shared a private world.
WITH THE MOSTEST
The very rich hours of Pamela Harriman.
HUGO HAMILTON AUTOBAHN
On the Autobahn outside Frankfurt. November. The fields were covered in a thin sheet of snow.
TRY IT ON
How Law Roach reimagined red-carpet style.
SORRY I'M NOT YOUR CLOWN TODAY
Bowen Yang's trip to Oz, by way of conversion therapy and S..N.L.”
SNIFF TEST
A maverick perfumer tries to make his mark on a storied fashion house.
