FROM SPERM DONOR TO DAD OF 37
YOU South Africa|9 May 2024
Peter Ellenstein's life took an unexpected turn when a message from a daughter he never knew he had led to him meeting dozens of his children and exploring what it means to be a father without ever having raised them
FROM SPERM DONOR TO DAD OF 37

IT WAS a young woman named Rachel who changed my life forever. I still remember the moment – 10.55am on 6 October 2017.

I was sitting in the café of the Ritz Hotel in San Francisco when a Facebook message pinged on my cellphone. “Hi Peter,” it said. “I am messaging you under very strange circumstances.

“This is a very sensitive subject . . . but to give you a bit of my background, I was born in 1994 due to in vitro fertilisation. The reason I am messaging you is that I believe you may have been the donor.” 

The first thing I felt was shock – mixed with an undercurrent of pleasure that the message was grammatically correct. Then I freaked out. Rushing back to my hotel room, I forwarded the message to my wife and siblings.

“Could this be a scam?” replied my sister, echoing my own thoughts.

But even in this early panic, I knew it could very well be true. In the late ’80s and early ’90s, while I was trying to make it as a theatre producer and artistic director in Los Angeles, my hometown, I had been a frequent visitor to two sperm banks. It was a good way to raise money: I was given at least $45 per donation, up to five times a week.

Over five or six years, I must have made hundreds of donations, which afforded me my dream of starting a theatre company.

There are few regulations governing who can donate sperm in the US. The American Society for Reproductive Medicine guidelines limit a donor to 25 live births per population area of 850 000, although this is not enforced by law. To my knowledge there’s no central tracking.

Denne historien er fra 9 May 2024-utgaven av YOU South Africa.

Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.

Denne historien er fra 9 May 2024-utgaven av YOU South Africa.

Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.

FLERE HISTORIER FRA YOU SOUTH AFRICASe alt
PUSHED TO THE LIMIT
YOU South Africa

PUSHED TO THE LIMIT

The unusual relationship between an heiress and her husband has taken a sinister twist

time-read
5 mins  |
5 September 2024
HOW TO MAKE A SUPERBABY
YOU South Africa

HOW TO MAKE A SUPERBABY

Noor Siddiqui says her company can test embryos for hundreds of conditions from diabetes to Alzheimer's. Critics call it social engineering but she insists she's just giving prospective parents the means to avoid a lot of future heartache

time-read
10+ mins  |
5 September 2024
THE GROWN-UP BRAIN
YOU South Africa

THE GROWN-UP BRAIN

If you think your brain deteriorates as you age, think again!

time-read
3 mins  |
5 September 2024
THE eyes HAVE IT
YOU South Africa

THE eyes HAVE IT

They're the windows to our soul - and the first place to show the stresses of everyday life. Juliette Winter reveals expert tips to de-puff, brighten and smooth this delicate area

time-read
1 min  |
5 September 2024
WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER
YOU South Africa

WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER

It hasn't been an easy road but now this bodybuilding couple are making waves in the industry

time-read
4 mins  |
5 September 2024
I CAN'T WAIT FOR SUMMER!
YOU South Africa

I CAN'T WAIT FOR SUMMER!

Annetjie's about to get effective treatment for the skin condition that has blighted her life and she's looking forward to hitting the shops and facing the world

time-read
5 mins  |
5 September 2024
'SHE NO THREAT TO ANYONE'
YOU South Africa

'SHE NO THREAT TO ANYONE'

When SA boxer Chris van Heerden's Russian girlfriend went to visit her parents she was thrown in jail and accused of treasonnow he's in a fight to free her

time-read
5 mins  |
5 September 2024
SUNK IN 16 MINUTES!
YOU South Africa

SUNK IN 16 MINUTES!

A sun-drenched holiday turned into a living nightmare for those aboard this luxury vessel

time-read
5 mins  |
5 September 2024
READY TO SMILE AGAIN
YOU South Africa

READY TO SMILE AGAIN

A groundbreaking surgical procedure will restore this Limpopo teen's badly damaged jaw and teeth

time-read
5 mins  |
5 September 2024
HARRY AT A CROSSROADS
YOU South Africa

HARRY AT A CROSSROADS

As the prince turns 40, royal experts paint a picture of a troubled soul- isolated, homesick and struggling to find a purpose in life

time-read
8 mins  |
5 September 2024