KNOW YOUR KIDS' FRIENDS

Want to know what makes your teenager tick? Take a look at who they're mixing with – their group of peers can offer surprising insights into your child’s behaviour

- PATRICIA FLOKIS

GOOD friends are a blessing. And as a parent, you know how important it is for your children to form friendships that have a positive impact on their lives.

However, a teenager's choice of friends can sometimes be as alarming as the expletives spewing from their new bestie's mouth. And telling them not to hang out with that particular friend anymore is likely to have your teen rolling their eyes at you.

But rest assured, all is not lost. Influencing your teenager to make healthy friendship choices - and resist peer pressure - is possible.

GET TO KNOW THEM

According to parenting experts, the trick is to keep your kids' friends nice and close. "The more you get to know their friends, the more you get to know your child, really,' says Australian clinical psychologist Sally-Anne McCormack.

"You see who they value being with, how they're being treated by their friends, and how they're treating them in return.

Knowing your children's friends can also help you determine if they share similar interests and values. Your teenager is more likely to avoid drugs and alcohol if their friends do, or to strive to be more studious if their friends are doing well at school, says Deborah Jepsen, an Australian educational and developmental psychologist.

Important questions you should be asking- such as whether your child is free to be themselves around their friends, whether their friends are supportive or insensitive, and if they're a good or bad influence - can all be better answered when you know their peer group.

Friends can also inadvertently offer insight into your teen's behaviour. "For instance, your son might have told you he was bullied at school, but a casual chat with his friends may reveal that he said something that set it all off,' McCormack says. "Suddenly, you have a different perspective on the situation, and an opportunity to deal with it more appropriately and constructively."