I Am Thriving. My Best Friend Isn't. Is It Wrong to Tell Her About My Wins?

New York-based advice columnist and therapist Minaa B., weighs in on what to do when your highs threaten to exacerbate your friend’s lows.

- Minaa B

Dear Minaa, 

My bestie and I have been superclose since we were kids—we shared the same high-school crush (he still does not know!) and whispered secrets late into the night at every childhood sleepover. She truly knows me better than anyone else does.

But lately, our relationship has hit a bit of a pause. I think it is because she’s simply... not living her best life at the moment. Her career is stagnant, her mental health is in rough shape after a bad break-up, she has a lot of credit card debt, and (understandably) she’s not happy about any of it. I, however, am kind of killing it. My relationship, career, finances—they are all in a great place.

I completely understand how lucky I am, and I want to share my happiness with my friend. But whenever I do, I feel bad because I know her situation. And she always *seems* excited for me, but she never really follows up.

Again, I don’t blame her, but I am really sad that we have been talking less than we used to—it is hard to connect on anything because we are on such different pages. And when we do talk, I worry it seems like I come to her only to brag about my life—even though I just want her to be part of that life.

I truly believe that celebrating each other’s successes should be a keystone of our friendship, but am I wrong? Am I damaging her mental health further by making her feel like she is only falling more and more behind?