As an anxious child, I always had my fingers in my mouth. I'd bite my nails and peel my cuticles until I bled. My parents tried different strategies to help me, but nothing worked. And then I hit puberty and developed a new obsession: my skin. Picking at my breakouts felt like stress relief. I'd head to the mirror after a long day of school to see what I could find and "fix." It didn't seem like a big deal at first-I was simply cleaning out my pores, after all and besides, most of my friends picked their pimples too.
But after I was assaulted in my early teens, skin picking became a coping mechanism, a way I could feel a sense of control over my body. I started grazing (when you "scan" your skin with your fingertips, looking for bumps) my entire body throughout the day. Whatever I found, I picked. At home, I'd lock myself in the bathroom and dig into my skin, scraping off scabs and squeezing zits until I was spotted with inflamed and bloody welts. Physically, I looked like a plucked chicken, but mentally, I felt a release, something akin to a pure dopamine hit.
Denne historien er fra Issue 05, 2022-utgaven av Cosmopolitan US.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent ? Logg på
Denne historien er fra Issue 05, 2022-utgaven av Cosmopolitan US.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
The Sweet Smell of Diversity
We need more perfumes with important stories to tell, says beauty editor-at-large
Announcement: The Time to Masturbate Is Now
Seriously. What are you waiting for?
THE Hottest SPORTS STORY YOU'LL READ ALL YEAR
There's a reason romance author Ana Huang has sold more than 8 million books. And that reason is...well, see for yourself in this exclusive excerpt of her highly anticipated novel The Striker, about her fan-favorite hero, pro soccer star Asher Donovan, and former ballerina Scarlett DuBois. Is there sexual tension? Yes. Will there be steam, sweat, and exertion? Yes. Should you stop reading this intro and start diving right in? Yes.
Gen Z Doesn't Want to See Your Baby's Face on Tik Tok
Young enough to have had their childhood posted publicly but old enough to be starting families of their own, the world's most online cohort might just kill the multibillion-dollar momfluencer industry once and for all.
We Need to Talk About Women and Concussions
Because we're getting traumatic brain injuries more than ever...and more than men.
The True Tale of My Multi-Orgasmic Hookup With My Much Younger Handyman
I needed some help around the house. He put in overtime.
What's It Really Like to Be a Stay-at-Home Girlfriend?
Spoiler: The junior tradwife life isn't as rosy as it looks online.
Dove Cameron
The singer is ready to f*ck around and find out.
Is This Thing On?
When it comes to Ashley Park, the answer has always been yeswhile filming Emily in Paris, while owning a Broadway stage, while starring in some of the buzziest projects of the past few years. And also, we now know, while living through a recent near-death experience, which has taught the 33-year-old force of nature that sometimes you have to power down to level up all over again.
sabrina carpenter
The singer, actor, and miniskirt enthusiast just wants to chat.