The Couples Therapist Will See You Now

Seeking answers to all your juiciest relationship Qs? Same. Luckily for all of us, Cosmo's advice columnist, therapist Minaa B., knows a thing or two about love, marriage, and messy situationships.

- Minaa B

Dear Minaa,

For two seasons now, The White Lotus has been trying to ruin my marriage. Every time I witness one of its characters behaving badly (see: Tanya's shitty partner, all the cheating millennials), I find myself giving my husband extreme side-eye and treating him as if he's doing the same thing. Of course my spouse isn't perfect, but I also know he's not the monster I project onto him after each drama-filled episode. Or....is he? Are shows like this surfacing our own unspoken issues, however small, that should be aired? Or are they making me see insignificant problems through a needlessly exaggerated lens? Please send help!

Dear Reader,

Ask yourself what specific plot points seem to be triggering you. Is it infidelity or other kinds of betrayal? Is it physical or emotional abuse? It's important to identify exactly what's giving you pause, so you can then consider how those same things may be showing up in your actual life, now or in the past.

If you do find evidence that the show is mirroring an unspoken reality in your relationship, bring it up with your husband by communicating in the "I" and saying things "I feel hurt when you do [insert problem here]." Because trying to work through your emotions via a fictional drama isn't very helpful.

If you discover that your postbinge anger is less about your partnership and more about your feelings toward the characters' actions, think about whether watching this stuff is good for you and how you can make your relationship with TV healthier by engaging with different kinds of entertainment.

Dear Minaa,