What It's Really Like to Cut Off Your Parents

More and more young people have entered their family estrangement era, for better or worse. But mostly for better.

- FORTESA LATIFI

Jordan was raised in a Southern Baptist household in North Carolina, where she was expected to attend church multiple times a week, accept Jesus Christ as the way to salvation, and honor her father and mother. That last point was right there in the Ten Commandments. So when she made the decision to stop talking to her dad, the choice stood in defiance of the lessons of her upbringing-but that was kind of the point. Jordan was tired of being told that women should submit to men, a belief ordained by her community. She was finished obeying.

At first, despite the fights they'd have about religion and politics, Jordan held back from completely severing ties with her dad. But after one last explosive phone call, Jordan, now 33, had a "moment of clarity," she says: "It's an extreme privilege to have a great relationship with your adult children." Her father continued to call and text her, but without receiving a sincere apology from him, Jordan didn't budge.

This kind of estrangement flies in the face of what most of us are taught as children-that family is forever and the bonds of blood cannot be replicated. Especially in cultures that value the cohesiveness of the group over more individualistic wants and needs, family is not considered a choice as much as it is a fact. But for families like Jordan's, that fact is fraying.