First, they take my suitcase away from me. This is so they can search my clothes for drugs and weapons. Who are they? They are hospital staff, a specific check-in team that I never see again during my time here. They are warm, but not too warm, hardened from years of dealing with bullshit from patients who check in against their will, who are angry to be here, and who take their anger out on the first line of duty. However, they quickly accommodate their approach to you based on how you approach them. If you are difficult and have an attitude, like the young redhead checking in next to me, they will be short and direct. If you, like me, have chosen to be here, are relieved, even happy to be here, they will speak to you in soft voices, ask you if you're comfortable, and offer you snacks. I only accept a paper cup of water.
I sit in a room by myself for five minutes. The room has beige walls, gray carpet, and a wood-carved sign hanging on the wall that reads Hope. A friendly nurse in her mid-fifties comes to get me and brings me into an exam room. She asks me many questions.
"Why are you here?"
"Intense suicidal ideation, self-harm, disordered eating."
I try not to cry, saying it out loud for the first time in such a matter-of-fact way.
"What medications are you allergic to?"
"Sulfa."
The nurse then assesses me for suicide risk.
Have you thought about taking your life in the past 48 hours?"
"Yes."
"Do you have the means to carry out this plan?"
"Yes."
"Do you experience feelings of worthlessness?"
"Yes."
"On a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the greatest, how great is your desire to die?"
"Eleven?"
Apparently, my risk is high.
Denne historien er fra August 2024-utgaven av ELLE US.
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Denne historien er fra August 2024-utgaven av ELLE US.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
Checking In - In an exclusive excerpt from her memoir, Men Have Called Her Crazy, Anna Marie Tendler writes about being admitted to a mental health facility.
In an exclusive excerpt from her memoir, men have called her crazy, Anna Marie Tendler writes about being admitted to a mental health facility. "My wish for myself is that one day I'll reach a place where I can face hardship without trying to destroy myself". The nurse looks me in the eye, gives me a small but warm smile, and nods.
How to Antiage Your Dog- Could a new pill help dogs (and us) live longer?
Celine Halioua is a dog lover who studied neuroscience and nanobiotechnology. Her thesis is that the short lifespan of big dogs is like "an accelerated aging disorder, an unintended consequence of historical inbreeding for size." In an effort to correct genetic mistakes, Loyal's drug LOY-001 reduces insulin-like growth factor (IGF-1), a biomarker hormone, also present in humans, that drives cell growth and is key to regulating the aging process. The hope is that it will slow down this process to a more sustainable rate, so that big dogs can have more healthy years. The injectable medication would be given by a vet every three to six months, starting at age seven, for dogs 40 pounds and up. Clinical trials are now underway for LOY-002, a daily pill for older dogs of nearly all but the smallest breeds. "Research is ongoing, but we think they will help dogs get at least one extra year of healthy living," Halioua says.
Hoyeon Takes Hollywood - With her first English-speaking role with an A-list director, the model and Squid Game alum is proving she's here to stay.
With her first English-speaking role with an A-list director, the model and Squid Game alum is proving she's here to stay. Her debut acting role in Squid Game made her a breakout star in 2021 for her magnetic performance as Kang Sae-byeok, a North Korean defector with an "I'm not here to make friends" iciness, who participates in the deadly competition to provide for her little brother. A year later, she won a Screen Actors Guild Award for Female Actor in a Drama Series. Now she has 18.8 million followers on Instagram and fans all over the world. (When a group of NYC teenage girls wearing baggy jeans spot her outside the Chinatown coffee shop we've moved to post-steak, they quiver and audibly freak out.)
I'm With the Bag
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Anew museum of epic proportions is giving visitors anew view of kevptian history.
They Came to PLAY
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STRIKING A CORD
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Naked Truths KIT HARINGTON
Currently pushing boundaries in Slave Play in London's West End and the spicy third season of Industry, Kit Harington has left Jon Snow in the dust. The actor, 37, fields our questions on the work that fuels him, and the women he's loved and learned from.Kit Harington has left Jon Snow in the dust. The actor, 37, fields our questions on the work that fuels him, and the women he's loved and learned from.
THE PROVOCATEUR
As Rick Owens celebrates 30 years, the designer can still shock and awe with the best of them.
Kelly Rutherford Loves When You Call Her Birkin Mom
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