Family TREE
Vogue Singapore|March 2023
In a contemplation of her mixed heritage, one Singaporean writer unearths why she ties a complex labyrinth of cultural practices to her sense of belonging.
AZRIN TAN
Family TREE

Some bite-sized knowledge: tapioca is a root crop that grows from its own cuttings. It is then harvested into the ingredient used in bubble tea pearls or popular Singaporean desserts such as ubi kayu and tapioca sago soup. Unlike other edible plants where the fruit or flower is most sought after, the tapioca root is its own source of growth, its end and also its beginning.

Our parents and grandparents once relied on tapioca and sweet potatoes as staples for everyday cooking. “It was easier and cheaper to throw everything into a single dish and eat it as a meal,” recalls my mother, who professes that many dishes she makes today are shaped by the food she ate as a child.

To date, yong tau foo, kari ayam and the odd shepherd’s pie are some of the best dishes my mother puts on the table for the family to enjoy. Apart from the noteworthy fact that all three are one-dish meals, there is no other obvious commonality between them. Yet to me, all three make perfect sense for her—a MalayIndian woman who chose to marry a Chinese man when she was 22—to make. Where the shepherd’s pie is concerned, she cites a heavy influence from her own mother, who used to be a cook stationed at a colonial home prior to the Japanese invasion during World War II.

I have always looked up to my older siblings, who seem to be miles more adept at juggling the two main halves of our racial make-up. The times I envy them most are when I board a taxi with an all-too-curious, often-Chinese driver whose first question is always: “Chinese or Malay?”—my golden-brown skin an indicator that ‘Tan’ is far from a fitting surname for me.

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