A few years ago, my dad and I became obsessed with my son's Little League team, the Purple Pinstripes. We lived and died by every pitch, exalted by a base hit just inside the line, devastated by a strikeout. We were just as invested in these fourth graders playing for snack bar tickets as we would have been in elite athletes with million-dollar contracts.
We cheered into the dry desert air until our throats were raw. We dissected every play of every inning of every game. We became one with each other and one with our team. That's how a single season of Little League baseball became our very unorthodox grief group of two, a group that met exactly 16 times at Ingleside Middle School in Phoenix.
This grief group had no moderator and no rules other than those dictated by the Little League of America-and the human heart.
"Morgan would've gotten that ground ball," my dad said with a grimace during our team's first game, wiping his twitchy eyes with a bandanna. "He never missed a grounder at first. You have to play the bounce. Don't let the bounce play you." Morgan was my older brother, a fastball-loving lefty who had been a baseball prodigy until he stopped playing at 13.
During that spring season, I watched my older son play and mourned Morgan, who had died of spinal cancer at 47, three years earlier. In the bleachers and along the sidelines, I also mourned my mom, who had died four months to the day after her son. The losses had come one on top of the other, sending me freefalling into a formless, lightless grief-o-sphere in which I couldn't seem to right myself.
To deal with this so-called cumulative grief, I tried books and meditation and synagogue and dharma talks and even traditional grief support groups, but I always dropped out.
Denne historien er fra July - August 2024-utgaven av Good House Keeping - US.
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Denne historien er fra July - August 2024-utgaven av Good House Keeping - US.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
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Can Anything Really Firm Your Face? - Countless complexion brands tout skin-tightening solutions like firming skincare products, at-home devices and professional treatments
Countless complexion brands tout skin-tightening solutions like firming skincare products, at-home devices and professional treatments. Here, our experts get real about whether these techniques can actually help skin bounce back once it starts to go lax. Sagging skin is caused primarily by the loss of collagen and elastin (proteins that give skin structural support and elasticity) with age, says Mamina Turegano, M.D., a dermatologist at Sanova Dermatology in New Orleans. And there's no shortage of potions proclaiming to counteract it with firming and lifting effects. Most commonly in serum and moisturizer form, these products contain ingredients like peptides, retinol, vitamin C, growth factors and niacinamide that purport to stimulate collagen production or ones that plump skin, such as hyaluronic acid.
The Stress-Busting Hack That's Right Under Your Nose- Breathwork is more than the wellness trend du jour- it's a science-backed route to relief from multiple modern ailments.
“OK, OK, just take a breath.” If that’s what a friend advises after you panic-share about a major-anxiety-inducing situation — your teen taking his maiden solo voyage behind the wheel, work instability, another high-stakes world crisis dinging your phone every few minutes — it’s probably because they hate seeing you so on edge. But also, your friend is offering an effective means of slowing your spin. “The way you breathe affects anxiety, and anxiety affects how you breathe,” says James Nestor, author of Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art. “It’s a two-way street, and while anxiety isn’t a conscious choice, our breathing is.”
Do Men Really Not See The Mess? - The answer might surprise you. Journalist and author Gemma Hartley pulls back the curtain to reveal the invisible forces that drive this all-too-common cause of marital strife.
There was a time, earlier in my marriage, when every morning as I walked into the kitchen I braced myself for the rage and resentment that would well up in me.Cupboards left open. Dirty dishes in the sink. Coffee cups strewn around the house. And usually a pair of slippers or shoes, with inside-out socks, on the floor somewhere nearby. Even when I had left the house spotless the night before, I’d wake to a scene of disarray — the mess my husband had left behind on his way out the door for work.I didn’t know which scenario seemed worse, my husband’s consciously expecting me to clean up these messes or his truly not noticing them at all. I found myself silently tallying these small resentments, furious and flummoxed in turn that he seemed oblivious to things that needed to be tidied up around the house. It seemed as if he was always waiting for me to tell him what had to be done, as if he was incapable of noticing the mess himself even when he was creating it.
BLISTERED BITES
Shishitos are delicious all yearand creepy on Halloween!
DRINK if you DARE
Welcome, vampires, skeletons and zombies: This spiritforward duo may be strong enough to wake the dead.
Have a scary-good HALLOWEN
The spookiest day of the year calls for tricks and treats!
More Than a Walk in the Park
Agility training can be a fun and engaging way to get moving and bond with your pet.
Get More From Your Garage
Expert advice on three common conversions
The Mental Health Benefits of CATS
How our feline friends keep our minds purring
At-Home Devices
In this burgeoning category of DIY skin tools, technologies like microcurrent (low-level electrical current), radiofrequency (lowfrequency electromagnetic waves), lasers (pulsating light) and LED light aim to stimulate muscles or collagen production to firm and tighten.
