Break-ups, broken down

Don't ghost them. Don't just say 'Thank you, next'. No emojis. To end on the gentlest note, read on

- Karishma Kuenzang

 

Breaking up is icky enough. Doing it badly just makes it worse. Joe Jonas broke up with Taylor Swift in 2008 over a phone call that she says lasted 27 seconds. Minnie Driver only found out that Matt Damon had dumped her in 1998 after he mentioned on The Oprah Winfrey Show that he was single. Pete Davidson ended his relationship with Cazzie David in 2018 via text - the next day, she learnt from Instagram that he'd started dating Ariana Grande. In matters of the heart, the softer the landing, the easier it is to move on. But few relationships offer dignity and closure. Experts say it's possible to do it right, even in complicated situationships.

Come clean. Honest conversations make for fewer repercussions. Delhi relationship coach Anjali Tyagi says that honesty indicates that the person is important enough to be straightforward with.  "It also helps both people move on because they understand why the breakup is happening."

A 2018 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who were broken up with in a clear and direct way were more likely to feel relieved and hopeful about the future, and less likely to feel angry and resentful. The researchers believe this is because clarity helps people understand the breakup. They are less likely to blame themselves or to doubt their own judgment.