![Farewell, 2022, You Were Annoying Farewell, 2022, You Were Annoying](https://cdn.magzter.com/1357654847/1669124533/articles/uVIx8XNHw1670918186508/FAREWELL-2022-YOU-WERE-ANNOYING.jpg)
VERY FEW OF MY APOCALYPSE FANTASIES qualify as cheerful, but there's one that brings a smile to my face: It's a few years into the future, and the world is ravaged by war and wildfires. A solemn-looking young boy and his determined father push a rusted shopping cart down a desolate street. Think Cormac McCarthy's The Road but real, and therefore tacky. The boy tugs at his dad's sleeve. "Father," he asks, "were you alive before everything fell apart?" The man nods. "What did you do to stop it?" The man crouches down, puts his hand on his son's shoulder, and-his eyes watering from emotion and ash-says, "I wrote a brutal one-star Yelp review for an animal shelter because they had a drag-queen story hour for rescue dogs."
We are facing disaster in about 60 different ways. Climate devastation? You bet. Fascism? On the rise. More pandemics? Seems likely. Civil war? Possibly. Nuclear war? Throw it on the pile. A new Red Hot Chili Peppers album? No: This year, we got two. Life in 2022 felt like waiting for the other shoe to drop, in a bed next to a space heater, in a building that could implode at any moment with no warning. The Doomsday Clock has been set to "we are 20 minutes late for Doomsday." The shit is real is what I'm saying. Instead of mobilizing to at least try to get something done, we largely retreated into the safety of empty outrage. In the face of problems we felt increasingly powerless to solve, we created little problems in our minds and demanded action against those. The prolonged and sometimes productive anger of 2020 gave way this year to a repeated and always performative gettin' up of dander. 2022 was all about Meta Rage.
Denne historien er fra Winter 2023-utgaven av Esquire US.
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Denne historien er fra Winter 2023-utgaven av Esquire US.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
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Anthony Mackie Is One of One
His résumé is filled with indelible performances: Half Nelson. 8 Mile. The Hurt Locker. He's been Spike Lee's muse (twice) and has worked with plenty of greats. With Captain America: Brave New World, he'll lead the MCU's next decade. So why is recognition just coming now?
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NEW DAD
THE AUTHOR MADE A FEW BUCKS DONATING SPERM BACK IN THE DAY. THIRTY YEARS LATER, THERE WAS A PHONE CALL. THEN ANOTHER ONE. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SUDDENLY HAVE A NEW FAMILY AT SEVENTY-ONE?
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The Navy Blazer Redux
Think it's too stuffy for you? Get ready to change your perspective.
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WHO'S LAUGHING AT DONALD TRUMP NOW?
He was treated like a cartoonish interloper in his first term. This time, he enters office with a shield of legitimacy that even the Democrats can't deny.
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A RISING DESIGNER EYES HIS LEGACY
Brett Johnson's fresh, modern menswear is an American's take on European luxury. Conforming to expectations isn't his style.
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How Much Would You Pay for Inner Peace?
The world of woo-woo has gone mainstream, so I embarked on a $16,000 retreat to see the face of God. To my great surprise, it worked...sort of.
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WHERE DID ALL THE GOOD BARS GO?
An unfortunate fact of life: As you approach 50, it gets harder and harder to find a decent place to drink.
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Never Again...Again
Nazi Germany has long been regarded as an ultimate, unspeakable evil, with no possible comparisons or parallels here. Not any longer.
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PERFECT FOR A JOHN HUGHES VILLAIN
Brian Davis, owner of the vintage store Wooden Sleepers, thinks this is the ideal sweatshirt even though he's never shoved anyone into a locker
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THE BOSS
You know him for his comedies, his love of weed, and his raspy chuckle. But at forty-two, Seth Rogen is now more powerful than you can imagine—even if he won't admit it.