Should I keep my feelings to myself? The problem with PEACEKEEPING
New Idea|January 23, 2023
WHY TRYING TO APPEASE OTHERS CAN DO MORE HARM THAN GOOD
Should I keep my feelings to myself? The problem with PEACEKEEPING

Keeping the peace it's a term we hear thrown around often. Usually, it happens as a result of silencing ourselves when others overstep the mark.

Whether we're avoiding 'nagging' our partners or telling friends their constant bailing on plans is hurting us, we've all had times where we've opted for 'harmony', but is it really good for us?

To find out, we spoke to academic John Silver, a counselling lecturer in applied psychology at the Australian College of Applied Professions.

WHY WE DO IT

Silver says that often our reasons for keeping the peace stem from a fear of how someone will react to hearing the naked truth about their own behaviour.

"One reason might be confusion about the nature of healthy boundaries in people who have never experienced them from their family of origin," he explains.

"There can also be the fear of rejection and losing friends, and a desire to help others rather than address an issue."

Denne historien er fra January 23, 2023-utgaven av New Idea.

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Denne historien er fra January 23, 2023-utgaven av New Idea.

Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.