An amateur exposed
New Zealand Listener|May 27 - June 2 2023
'Kia ora," I said. June the postie gave me a look. "Kia ora," she said, and smiled. Then: "Kei te pēhea koe?" It was my turn to give a look. "Er, sorry, 'kia ora' is about as far as my Maori goes," I mumbled.
GREG DIXON
An amateur exposed

We gave each other more looks. What she could see was me going as red as a sunburnt bum. What I could see was her smiling at me as I went as red as a sunburnt bum.

"Kei te pēhea koe?' means 'how are you?"" June continued, as if speaking to a slightly dim child, which, by this time, felt about right.

"What should I say in return?" I ventured.

"You should say 'Kei te pai', 'I'm good"," "Kei te..." "Kei te pai," June repeated, then "Eat the pie!" She hooted like a happy ruru and so, of course, did I. "Ka pai, ka pai," I said quickly, just to prove I had more in my kete than just "kia ora" - though, frankly, not much more and this made her laugh even harder.

It is one of the many chagrins of my life that I am, despite my (admittedly slapdash) mahi, bloody hopeless at te reo. My excuse, as I explained shamefacedly to June, is I wasn't taught any of it when I was at school in the 1970s and early 80s.

Denne historien er fra May 27 - June 2 2023-utgaven av New Zealand Listener.

Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.

Denne historien er fra May 27 - June 2 2023-utgaven av New Zealand Listener.

Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.

FLERE HISTORIER FRA NEW ZEALAND LISTENERSe alt
First-world problem
New Zealand Listener

First-world problem

Harrowing tales of migrants attempting to enter the US highlight the political failure to fully tackle the problem.

time-read
3 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Applying intelligence to AI
New Zealand Listener

Applying intelligence to AI

I call it the 'Terminator Effect', based on the premise that thinking machines took over the world.

time-read
2 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Nazism rears its head
New Zealand Listener

Nazism rears its head

Smirky Höcke, with his penchant for waving with a suspiciously straight elbow and an open palm, won't get to be boss of either state.

time-read
2 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Staying ahead of the game
New Zealand Listener

Staying ahead of the game

Will the brave new world of bipartisanship that seems to be on offer with an Infrastructure Commission come to fruition?

time-read
4 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Grasping the nettle
New Zealand Listener

Grasping the nettle

Broccoli is horrible. It smells, when being cooked, like cat pee.

time-read
3 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Hangry? Eat breakfast
New Zealand Listener

Hangry? Eat breakfast

People who don't break their fast first thing in the morning report the least life satisfaction.

time-read
3 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Chemical reaction
New Zealand Listener

Chemical reaction

Nitrates in processed meats are well known to cause harm, but consumed from plant sources, their effect is quite different.

time-read
4 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Me and my guitar
New Zealand Listener

Me and my guitar

Australian guitarist Karin Schaupp sticks to the familiar for her Dunedin concerts.

time-read
2 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Time is on my side
New Zealand Listener

Time is on my side

Age does not weary some of our much-loved musicians but what keeps them on the road?

time-read
7 mins  |
September 9, 2024
The kids are not alright
New Zealand Listener

The kids are not alright

Nuanced account details how China's blessed generation has been replaced by one consumed by fear and hopelessness.

time-read
4 mins  |
September 9, 2024