There is nothing so soul-sapping as pondering a political poll. You wonder who does ponder them. Presumably that chap in a suit who is slightly ahead of that other chap in a suit in the popularity stakes. Until the next poll in which, quite possibly, that other chap in a suit sprints ahead of that other chap in a suit by a breathtaking 0.1%, or some similarly thrilling margin. A snail race would be more exciting.
We have five more months of polls to come, of cheering on our favourite snail, or sneering at our least-preferred snail, until we slowly slime across the line that is election day. The very thought is enough to make one lose the will to live, let alone vote.
Currently, the Prime Minister, Chris Hipkins, is the preferred prime minister in the snail race, ahead of the Leader of the Opposition, Christopher Luxon.
If we must ponder the polls feel free to have a lie-down here - Hipkins' personal popularity as prime minister is up 3.8 percentage points to 23.4%, Luxon is down 2.4 points to 16.4%, his lowest point thus far, according to Newshub's latest poll.
If you had to choose who to vote for based on the suits, Luxon would be the loser.
And the suit might account for his latest preferred PM poll position. He really should have been advised not to post a picture of himself posing with Richie McCaw as they made their comedic way to the coronation in their morning suits. What happened to Luxon's trousers? He looked like a very short tramp who had robbed a very tall tramp of his pants on the way to the abbey. Or that he had suffered an unfortunate incident with his own trousers and had to ask McCaw if he happened to have a spare pair about his person.
Denne historien er fra May 27 - June 2 2023-utgaven av New Zealand Listener.
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Denne historien er fra May 27 - June 2 2023-utgaven av New Zealand Listener.
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First-world problem
Harrowing tales of migrants attempting to enter the US highlight the political failure to fully tackle the problem.
Applying intelligence to AI
I call it the 'Terminator Effect', based on the premise that thinking machines took over the world.
Nazism rears its head
Smirky Höcke, with his penchant for waving with a suspiciously straight elbow and an open palm, won't get to be boss of either state.
Staying ahead of the game
Will the brave new world of bipartisanship that seems to be on offer with an Infrastructure Commission come to fruition?
Grasping the nettle
Broccoli is horrible. It smells, when being cooked, like cat pee.
Hangry? Eat breakfast
People who don't break their fast first thing in the morning report the least life satisfaction.
Chemical reaction
Nitrates in processed meats are well known to cause harm, but consumed from plant sources, their effect is quite different.
Me and my guitar
Australian guitarist Karin Schaupp sticks to the familiar for her Dunedin concerts.
Time is on my side
Age does not weary some of our much-loved musicians but what keeps them on the road?
The kids are not alright
Nuanced account details how China's blessed generation has been replaced by one consumed by fear and hopelessness.