What the hang

Election year? Must be time for the Opposition to proclaim itself tough on crime.

- MICHELE HEWITSON

Hear ye. Hear ye. All rise for Judge Luxon. The Court of Bang 'Em Up For Life is now in session.

When it comes to election-year tough-on-crime policies, the Nats are repeat offenders. It's a bit boring. 

This would have added a bit of zing: at the annual National Party conference last week, Opposition Leader Christopher Luxon announced he was appointing himself as a High Court judge and would bring back hanging. No, of course he didn't. Nothing as exciting as that ever happens at party conferences.

He did announce that under his government judges would be prevented from dishing out discretionary discounts of more than 40% on criminal sentences. The Nats would also restrict the use of "cultural reports", which take into account the cultural context for a crime, and which can also result in reduced time. Those Nats are tough guys. But while they want to look tough, they don't want to come across as ogres who keep bad guys chained up in the cellar. So there was a sweetener: rehabilitation would be available to remand prisoners presentencing. As sweeteners go, this amounts to a grain of that awful artificial stuff that people who don't use sugar stir into their instant coffee.

The Labour Party, of course, said all of this would cost gazillions. And where, by the way, were National's costings? There weren't any. So whether all of this would cost gazillions is unknown. But never mind. "We're gonna make sure we can do everything as fast as we possibly can," said the self-appointed, tough-talking Judge Luxon. "But it's very difficult for us to predict all that out. But I'm telling you, we're gonna take action." Gotta love those "gonnas".