"I'M FROM HEARTY GERMAN people," my morbidly obese mother used to say. "If the mule was sick, my ancestors would strap the yoke to their own backs to plow the field."
At first, I accepted my mother's heritage as the reason for her size, but as I grew older, I noticed Halloween and Easter candy disappeared overnight, Christmas cookies meant for gifts were never given, and special desserts baked for company never made it to the table.
Cakes, pies, ice cream—anything sweet—was her heroin. I'd find a sea of candy bar wrappers under the driver's seat in her car and spy her waking early to replace the box of cookies or cartons of ice cream she'd eaten the night before.
As a child, I knew my love was dependent on not questioning the "crazy." Like the kid of every addict, you dance around the secrets. The dance we all did included a silent deal: We pretended not to notice, and she pretended, too.
In my teens, that choreography changed. My parents' divorce resulted in my father and younger brother moving 100 miles away, leaving me with my mother and her food addiction.
By high school, I started to call her out: "What happened to the brownies I made for the cheerleader bake sale?" I'd demand, annoyed, already knowing the answer.
I became the bad guy: A shallow brat with nothing more than cheerleading and silly bake sales on her mind. That became our shared narrative and caused untold friction between us. Especially when despite our shared genetics, my body wasn't turning out like hers.
Denne historien er fra February 02 - 09, 2024-utgaven av Newsweek Europe.
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Denne historien er fra February 02 - 09, 2024-utgaven av Newsweek Europe.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
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Falling for Romance
A new book, Nora Ephron at the Movies, celebrates the writer/director best known for her iconic rom-coms and strong female characters
Cracking the Norse Code
Walrus DNA has shown that Vikings were likely the first to have encountered Indigenous North Americans
Monumental Shift
The discovery of 165-million-year-old crystals Easter Island has upended the longheld notion of how the Earth's \"conveyor belt\" moves
'OUR FOREIGN POLICY AND DOMESTIC REFORMS ARE TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN'
It is a well-known fact across the globe that the North Korean regime is irrational and unpredictable, but we have been consistent in strengthening our defense posture against the threat from North Korea since the Korean War, and I believe that their conventional capability is much inferior to that of the Korean military.
'They Read My Eulogy As I Lay in an Open Grave'
Like Paris Hilton, Natasia Pelowski claims she was subjected to abuse at a teenage therapy program
Russian Economy Faces 'Burnout'
Vladimir Putin admits difficulties” as the country’s key interest rate reaches a historic high
China's 'Silent Chemical War'
The U.S. must investigate Beijing's role in the manufacturing of fentanyl that is killing Americans, says one mom whose daughter died after accidentally taking the illicit substance
HARSH HEADWINDS
President Yoon Suk Yeol's BATTLE to reform a South Korea beset with structural problems under the specter of an increasingly aggressive neighbor to THE NORTH
Bridget Everett
BRIDGET EVERETT NEVER THOUGHT SHE'D BE THE LEAD OF A TV SHOW. \"I come from the downtown world in New York, a cabaret singer, and these things just don't happen, you don't find yourself with three seasons of HBO.
Amber Ruffin
A LATE-NIGHT COMEDY SHOW ON CNN? YES, and it's a game show, too.
