‘I’ll tell you what I remember...I have always liked a poem from In Prison. You know the one in which sorrow is compared to an iceberg? My sorrow: an iceberg, Its tip alone breaking the waterline. My memories: drops of acid That leave me shivering in pain. On my shoulders, the crucifix of life On my forehead, the placard of my fate— You who have washed the guilt off your hands, You who have exfoliated your past, How do you manage with these newhewn faces?
‘That poem mirrors my life in more ways than one. Most people see only the tip of the iceberg. And even this causes much discussion in society. My past is like the submerged part of the iceberg. But an iceberg is constantly being fed by the sea. My face seems frozen too.
‘And yet, ever since I’ve become aware of this, oddly, the past has begun to elude me. When I think I’ve got hold of it, my spirit trembles. For a long time, I think I’ve been seduced by surfaces. This shocks me.
‘Then you come along and ask that I should take an axe to the iceberg. Will it break? Or would I reduce myself to the state of a Pothraj? You’ve seen them, haven’t you? Those bare-chested men who whip themselves on the street, who wear anklets on their feet but have rather good biceps, which they pierce with needles till blood spurts...That’s who I’d be, and then people would gather around and clap and sigh and say, “Poor chap.” Do I want to become an object of people’s pity?’
‘How would you be to blame even if you do?’
‘I know. If I’d been born in some frigid tundra, would my past have been different? There too I would have known sorrow. But it would have been a different kind of sorrow, not a result of calculated inhumanity.
Denne historien er fra August 21, 2023-utgaven av Outlook.
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Denne historien er fra August 21, 2023-utgaven av Outlook.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
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Layers Of Lear
Director Rajat Kapoor and actor Vinay Pathak's ode to Shakespeare is an experience to behold
Loss and Longing
Memories can be painful, but they also make life more meaningful
Suprabhatham Sub Judice
M.S. Subbulakshmi decided the fate of her memorials a long time ago
Fortress of Desire
A performance titled 'A Streetcart Named Desire', featuring Indian and international artists and performers, explored different desires through an unusual act on a full moon night at the Gwalior Fort
Of Hope and Hopelessness
The body appears as light in Payal Kapadia's film
Ruptured Lives
A visit to Bangladesh in 2010 shaped the author's novel, a sensitively sketched tale of migrants' struggles
The Big Book
The Big Book of Odia Literature is a groundbreaking work that provides readers with a comprehensive introduction to the rich and varied literary traditions of Odisha
How to Refuse the Generous Thief
The poet uses all the available arsenal in English to write the most anti-colonial poetry
The Freedom Compartment
#traindiaries is a photo journal shot in the ladies coaches of Mumbai locals. It explores how women engage and familiarise themselves with spaces by building relationships with complete strangers
Love, Up in the Clouds
Manikbabur Megh is an unusual love story about a man falling for a cloud. Amborish Roychoudhury discusses the process of Manikbabu's creation with actor Chandan Sen and director Abhinandan Banerjee