HI, I'm Happy. No, not happy, just Happy. Actually, HI'm in I'm happy, too, because I'm Happy. Chances are high you already know about me; chances are high you crave my life; chances are high you loathe me. Who wouldn't? I'm rich. I'm famous. I'm cute. Still confused about who I'm? Ambani, Happy Ambani, Anant's dog. Yes, a literal dog, a Golden Retriever, unlike you metaphorical ones. (LOL, sorry, a low blow, but I couldn't resist.) I hope you don't compare me with that loser Pluto from Dil Dhadakne Do-simplistic philosophy is not my thing-and I'm too classy for that mawkish meathead, Tuffy, from Hum Aapke Hain Koun. I'm a world unto my own and, like Salman bhai, I only expose when the script demands.
Over the last few months, many commentators have balked-or barked?-at my master's extravagant and expensive wedding. They can't stand it. They can't see it. They can't unsee it. What do they want? Freedom. Freedom from this vulgar, unending spectacle. The freedom to not watch, or think about, something that offends their senses, sensibilities, sensitivities. Listen, you pauper philistines, this wedding was like (Gujarati) Hotel California: You can check out but never leave.
But I don't think that explanation would suffice. So today, making my journalistic debut (in an as-told-to piece because, like a proper seth, I'm too pricey to write one), I want to set the record straight. More so because our own news channels are good for some things but none of them involve facts. So here I'm: to wire your brains, to scroll down your complaints, to change your outlook, to make you step down from your caravan of high horses, and to tell you-simply, quickly, easily-the real story of India today.
Denne historien er fra August 21, 2024-utgaven av Outlook.
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Denne historien er fra August 21, 2024-utgaven av Outlook.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
Trump's White House 'Waapsi'
Donald Trump's victory in the US presidential election may very well mean an end to democracy in the near future
IMT Ghaziabad hosted its Annual Convocation Ceremony for the Class of 2024
Shri Suresh Narayanan, Chairman Managing Director of Nestlé India Limited, congratulated and motivated graduates at IMT Ghaziabad's Convocation 2024
Identity and 'Infiltrators'
The Jharkhand Assembly election has emerged as a high-stakes political contest, with the battle for power intensifying between key players in the state.
Beyond Deadlines
Bibek Debroy could engage with even those who were not aligned with his politics or economics
Portraying Absence
Exhibits at a group art show in Kolkata examine existence in the absence
Of Rivers, Jungles and Mountains
In Adivasi poetry, everything breathes, everything is alive and nothing is inferior to humans
Hemant Versus Himanta
Himanta Biswa Sarma brings his hate bandwagon to Jharkhand to rattle Hemant Soren’s tribal identity politics
A Smouldering Wasteland
As Jharkhand goes to the polls, people living in and around Jharia coalfield have just one request for the administration—a life free from smoke, fear and danger for their children
Search for a Narrative
By demanding a separate Sarna Code for the tribals, Hemant Soren has offered the larger issue of tribal identity before the voters
The Historic Bonhomie
While the BJP Is trying to invoke the trope of Bangladeshi infiltrators”, the ground reality paints a different picture pertaining to the historical significance of Muslim-Adivasi camaraderie
