HI, I'm Happy. No, not happy, just Happy. Actually, HI'm in I'm happy, too, because I'm Happy. Chances are high you already know about me; chances are high you crave my life; chances are high you loathe me. Who wouldn't? I'm rich. I'm famous. I'm cute. Still confused about who I'm? Ambani, Happy Ambani, Anant's dog. Yes, a literal dog, a Golden Retriever, unlike you metaphorical ones. (LOL, sorry, a low blow, but I couldn't resist.) I hope you don't compare me with that loser Pluto from Dil Dhadakne Do-simplistic philosophy is not my thing-and I'm too classy for that mawkish meathead, Tuffy, from Hum Aapke Hain Koun. I'm a world unto my own and, like Salman bhai, I only expose when the script demands.
Over the last few months, many commentators have balked-or barked?-at my master's extravagant and expensive wedding. They can't stand it. They can't see it. They can't unsee it. What do they want? Freedom. Freedom from this vulgar, unending spectacle. The freedom to not watch, or think about, something that offends their senses, sensibilities, sensitivities. Listen, you pauper philistines, this wedding was like (Gujarati) Hotel California: You can check out but never leave.
But I don't think that explanation would suffice. So today, making my journalistic debut (in an as-told-to piece because, like a proper seth, I'm too pricey to write one), I want to set the record straight. More so because our own news channels are good for some things but none of them involve facts. So here I'm: to wire your brains, to scroll down your complaints, to change your outlook, to make you step down from your caravan of high horses, and to tell you-simply, quickly, easily-the real story of India today.
Denne historien er fra August 21, 2024-utgaven av Outlook.
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Denne historien er fra August 21, 2024-utgaven av Outlook.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
Caste Census: To Conquer Or Conserve?
The caste census is generating heated debate, but even its most ardent proponents are not able to articulate a plan about how to use the resulting data
THE FATEFUL COMEDY
Actor-director Rajat Kapoor talks about adapting Fyodor Dostoevsky's The Brothers Karamazov into a Hindi play
Mad Hatter
When a leader takes off his topi and holds it in his hands while appealing for votes, it signals something extraordinary
Circle Within Circles
The caste question in Muslims.
Backward March
The Maratha reservation question may continue to mire the next government in the state
The 69% Exception
Quota within quota: lessons to be learned from Tamil Nadu
United Indifference
The perils of tweaking tribal identities
Two Nations, Two Destinies
The widely differing balance of power between the military and civilian leadership in India and Pakistan has significantly impacted democracy in the two countries
Crème de la Crème
The mainstream society thinks reservations are against right to equality. It’s high time they are seen in the context of right to justice.
Fading Folks
The recent SC ruling on sub-classification within the SC and ST categories temporarily lifted the hopes of tribal communities in Jharkhand
