Do you know Mr Tumble?' and other questions I hate being asked at weddings

Benjamin Franklin said that there were only two certainties in life: death and taxes though perhaps he would have reconsidered the latter had he been aware of certain modern politicians and their honest mistakes).

- BEN CAJEE

Unfortunately for me a CBeebies presenter) and my namesake, the 200-year gap between his death and my birth means that we never attended a wedding or social event together. It’s a crying shame, because I’m utterly convinced with my tongue firmly in my cheek) that he’d have added a third classical truth.

It would read something along the lines of a person Ben has never met before will ask a combination of these three highbrow questions: Where are you really from? Do you know Mr Tumble? Why are you single?

There’s been a lot of chat about the former over the last few months, given that Ngozi Fulani a Black British charity founder was repeatedly asked the same question by Lady Susan Hussey, the late Queen’s lady-in-waiting. Consequently, I think I'll leave the reasons for me being asked that absolute gem to your wildest imaginations...

Let’s focus on the latter. Why are you single? Smack. Right out the gate. Usually within a few minutes of meeting an absolute stranger, often at weddings or gatherings where there’s an expectation that you’re in attendance with a significant other.