On a rainy summer's night in 2021, Jahmal Howlett-Mundle was sitting in the back of a car with four of his teammates, actively sweating as he built up the courage to tell them. "It was scary," he remembers. "Very, very scary. I just couldn't bring myself to let the words come out of my mouth."
When he finally told them he was bisexual, their reaction was one of love and understanding. “That really melted my heart because I just needed someone to say, look, whoever you are, whatever your identity is, we’re here for you.”
Growing up in south London, Howlett-Mundle first started to notice he was attracted to boys and girls at around nine years old, and it would be a painful 15-year journey before coming out aged 24. He spent nine years in Crystal Palace’s academy, regularly hearing homophobic slurs while wrestling with his sexuality and how it fitted with football.
“As a teenager, I was really starting to understand that this is who I am and that there are people who don’t agree with or don’t accept my identity.
I was fearful that if I challenge [homophobia] and somebody gets a bit of an inkling that I’m different to them, then what is going to be the backlash on me? Is my career going to suffer? Is my mental health going to suffer?
“I know this is inside of me but all the signals around me were suggesting that for people like myself, there isn’t a place for us in football.”
After he was released by Palace aged 18, Howlett-Mundle signed a professional contract with Edinburgh club Hearts. When his deal wasn’t renewed, he returned south to play for Dover Athletic, the first of several semi-professional clubs.
Denne historien er fra December 07, 2024-utgaven av The Independent.
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Denne historien er fra December 07, 2024-utgaven av The Independent.
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