Parenting with purpose - Why and how?

Certified Parenting Coach and Family Counselor

- Himani Gupte 

Two years after having my daughter, my husband and I started going back into the world with our little alien. We started showing her off, meeting friends and having fun, although all may not be in the same order. That was when I met Vipul and Neha. They were a normal Indian couple and parents to two beautiful children aged 14 and 8 years old. With time, as we bonded, I started observing certain trends and behavior patterns that, as a student of psychology and human behavior, I found very peculiar and began to notice how the children spoke with both the parents and the manner in which the parents reacted. If the kids wanted anything, they would only approach their mother and would sometimes enter into a fitful rage if their request was ever denied.

Every encounter was followed by the parents shaking their heads and saying something like 'Handling kids is so difficult; they never listen' or 'Kids these days are so arrogant and demanding; whatever you do for them is never enough'. Looking back on the family not only as a parent but also as a parenting coach, I now find glaring similarities with the majority of parents in India. Toddlers, tweens and teens acting out, and the parents blame the child's behavior on everything including the TV, school, peers and smartphones. Although all these factors contribute, at some level, in influencing a child's behavior, the most important aspect is the parents and their parenting style.