MANAGING SEPARATION ANXIETY

We talk to Maša Karleuša Valkanou, a CDAlicensed psychologist and a certified systemic family psychotherapist, all about separation anxiety, what you can do as a parent, and what to avoid.

Separation anxiety in babies, toddlers and young kids is very common and to be expected. Most of us find saying goodbye very difficult but, with age and maturity, we learn to cope in different ways. Parents, especially mothers, can find it difficult to leave their babies for more than a few hours. Don't worry if this is you, because it's completely natural! Behind this feeling is a biological function, as babies are not meant to be left without their primary caregiver. They cannot survive on their own, and the biology of the parent-infant relationship is in tune with this, to keep little ones safe, healthy and happy. However, beyond a certain age and stage, separation anxiety, coming either from the mum or from the child, can hinder their development and progress.

WHY DO HEALTHY CHILDREN FEEL SEPARATION ANXIETY?

Anxiety is a natural inbuilt response to separation from the mother figure and is also a function of age. It's the uncertainty that comes from little ones feeling as though they're suddenly without the love, care and reassurance of their main caregiver - usually mum or dad! It's common for kids to be attached to an adult, and to only one or two favourite adults in particular, that cannot be replaced in their eyes. Separation anxiety is absolutely normal to go through at a variety of ages, and is usually nothing to worry about, but that doesn't mean it's always easy to handle!

HOW LONG DOES IT TYPICALLY LAST?

Separation anxiety starts around 8 months into a baby's life. Some children will not show it as much, whereas with some children, it can be intense and prolonged until 3 or 4 years old.

RECOGNISING SEPARATION ANXIETY