THE LAST TIME I traveled to Nigeria, I was seven years old. It was 1994 and my parents, who had emigrated to the U.S. in the early 1980s, had not returned home since. They were eager to introduce their four daughters-including me, their second oldest-to their family.
In the town of Port Harcourt, the capital of my parents' home state of Rivers, my sisters and I were dropped into the arms of cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends who had been waiting years to squeeze, kiss, feed, and spoil us-and also introduce us to our "Nigerianness." My parents had spoken some Igbo to us when I was learning to talk, but I had already lost the language. I stared blankly into the eyes of dozens of brown-faced, white-toothed strangers, while my older sister, who was still fluent, translated. "Where are you from?" I was asked. "America," I would reply, a bit confused. I was promptly told that I was not an American, but a child of Nigeria.
BEING IN NIGERIA may afford me the luxury of being unapologetically Black, unlike in the white spaces that I navigate in the United States. But most of my extended family in Nigeria doesn't know that I'm gay. And, in Nigeria, being openly gay is an actual danger. In 2014, Nigerian president Goodluck Jonathan signed the Same-Sex Marriage (Prohibition) Act, and since then, authorities have carried out mass arrests and have looked the other way as citizens commit violence against Nigerians suspected of being gay. Many of those accused of violating the law have been charged with either planning, celebrating, or participating in gay marriage or simply appearing queer. The penalty for a conviction is imprisonment for up to 14 years.
In my early 30s, I moved from the Midwest, where I was born and raised, to New York City. I was both exhausted and excited. I had spent years denying my creative passion and my identity, but I was going to be a writer, and in one of the gayest cities in the country.
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Denne historien er fra October 2024-utgaven av Travel+Leisure US.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
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Oodles of Noodles
Slurping through a lantern-lit alley in Sapporo, Japan, where miso ramen was born
The Sweet Spot
Just an hour south of Miami, Nora Walsh finds a candyland of tropical fruits ripe for picking.
Freshly Brewed
In the Cederberg Mountains of South Africa, Kendall Hunter discovers the powerful effects of the humble rooibos plant.
SHORE LEAVE
Raw, wild, and mind-bendingly remote, yet peppered with world-class wineries and restaurants-Australia's South West Edge is a study in contrasts.
Of Land and Sea
Savoring French flavors on a gastronomic trail between Marseille and Dijon.
FAMILY-STYLE
Food writer MATT GOULDING couldn't wait to get back to the hushed omakase restaurants of Tokyo, Kyoto, and Osaka. But would his young kids love the country-and its cuisine as much as he does?
HAPPY MEAL
Many tascas, the no-frills dining spots in Lisbon, have vanished. But others, Austin Bush discovers, are being lovingly reinvented.
A City Abuzz
In underappreciated Trieste, Taras Grescoe finds some of Italy's most storied-and spectacular-coffee shops.
FJORD FOCUS
Norway in December? Crazy-and crazy beautiful. Indulging a family wish, Akash Kapur discovers a world of icy enchantment.
DESTINATION OF THE YEAR Thailand
Full disclosure: I didn't like Bangkok at first. I didn't get it—the chaos, the traffic, the fact that everything was hard to find. But like all good love affairs, my relationship with Thailand—which deepened when I moved from Vietnam 12 years ago to work at Travel + Leisure Southeast Asia, where I'm now editor in chief—took time to blossom.
