The burden of BEING THE FAVOURITE CHILD

Clare O'Reilly knows all too well that being the golden child comes with a lot of pressure

- CLARE O'REILLY

Ask any younger sibling and they’ll ‘fess up to being competitive with their kin. I’m certainly guilty as charged when it comes to my older brother Michael – I can recall with startling clarity the exact moment he went from being my lovely big brother to competition that needed to be crushed and annihilated.

It was a Sunday afternoon, circa 1991. I was complaining to my mum Irene about my maths homework, which Michael always found easy. She lovingly told me that it didn’t matter that I wasn’t as good at maths as my brother, because I was good at sport.

I know she was trying to make me feel better, to show that each and every one of us has different areas in which we excel. But while she intended to build my confidence, when I caught her proud look at my brother and his ‘top set’ smile back, it made my ‘bottom set’ blood boil.

While I tried to feign ambivalence, it ignited a spark of competition – a ‘win at all costs’ attitude where I wouldn’t rest until I was my parents’ favourite. It took a year or two to topple him from the top spot and take his ‘favourite child’ mantle, and I’ve retained the title since. I’m successful and happy now but, growing up, Michael was the one that thrived while I sat awkwardly in his shadow. He was funny, smart, charismatic and popular. I was painfully shy, lanky and awkward.

Yes, I was good at sport but outside of that I struggled.